To Not Eat Those Potatoes
One way or another you are coming down from that tree.
You are eating those potatoes – you are brushing those teeth.
You will have a whole lifetime to not eat those potatoes,
to be at work at eight and pay the thirty-year fixed mortgage.
These are the sort of conversations on which society depends.
Every leaf on every tree in the world is dancing in space.
We’re all slaves to the laws of chemistry and physics –
even the stars, even the smallest child, even the birds.
To Not Eat Those Potatoes
Greetings, John,
We're fond of potatoes at Coo & Co. This is another from MS Alien Overlords, yes? We think we discern didactic elements, as though the overlords are being taught about human society, but we're not sure. The tone of voice in S1 recalls Mrs T addressing Bro G about four decades ago, although he liked potatoes and even invented a character who ate only potatoes. She never ventured as far as L4, however, which has proved apt (^v^)
W.-B. contemplates types of trees through the seasons, while appreciating the birds at the close (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
We're fond of potatoes at Coo & Co. This is another from MS Alien Overlords, yes? We think we discern didactic elements, as though the overlords are being taught about human society, but we're not sure. The tone of voice in S1 recalls Mrs T addressing Bro G about four decades ago, although he liked potatoes and even invented a character who ate only potatoes. She never ventured as far as L4, however, which has proved apt (^v^)
W.-B. contemplates types of trees through the seasons, while appreciating the birds at the close (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
Greetings, Fliss and Coo,
Potatoes were considered a wonder crop when first discovered (or at least by the C18th). And quite rightly! You are correct, this is from TOAO. The speaker is telling the addressee what to do, precisely as you discern, and the echoes of Mrs T make sense to me. Ironically, the addressee here hopes not to eat the potatoes.
L4 does have an apt quality, does it not, for many of us?
Types of trees and birds are splendid things to be considering.
Cheerie,
John
Potatoes were considered a wonder crop when first discovered (or at least by the C18th). And quite rightly! You are correct, this is from TOAO. The speaker is telling the addressee what to do, precisely as you discern, and the echoes of Mrs T make sense to me. Ironically, the addressee here hopes not to eat the potatoes.
L4 does have an apt quality, does it not, for many of us?
Types of trees and birds are splendid things to be considering.
Cheerie,
John
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CalebPerry
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It's interesting how you segue from eating and economics to physics. I'm sure there is a connection, but it isn't entirely clear to me.
One thought is that children don't often dislike potatoes. They are more likely to turn their noses up at green vegetables. However, the "potato" has a little humor built into it (meaning the sound of the word). Just the fact that they are so ordinary is somehow funny.
To me, the birds don't seem to belong in the final line. I'd throw in something else.
One thought is that children don't often dislike potatoes. They are more likely to turn their noses up at green vegetables. However, the "potato" has a little humor built into it (meaning the sound of the word). Just the fact that they are so ordinary is somehow funny.
To me, the birds don't seem to belong in the final line. I'd throw in something else.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Hi Caleb,
Yup, there are segues here. i agree about potatoes, both about children liking them fine (unlike say kale or spinach) and about the word being good for humor. That's what makes me want to keep it - substitutes just don't work as well.
Birds seem totally free, free even of phsyics. But they are not. That's my argument at close.
Cheers,
John
Yup, there are segues here. i agree about potatoes, both about children liking them fine (unlike say kale or spinach) and about the word being good for humor. That's what makes me want to keep it - substitutes just don't work as well.
Birds seem totally free, free even of phsyics. But they are not. That's my argument at close.
Cheers,
John
Greetings, John,jisbell00 wrote: ↑Sat Aug 19, 2023 6:09 pmGreetings, Fliss and Coo,
Potatoes were considered a wonder crop when first discovered (or at least by the C18th). And quite rightly! You are correct, this is from TOAO. The speaker is telling the addressee what to do, precisely as you discern, and the echoes of Mrs T make sense to me. Ironically, the addressee here hopes not to eat the potatoes.
L4 does have an apt quality, does it not, for many of us?
Types of trees and birds are splendid things to be considering.
Cheerie,
John
Ooh, the history of potatoes; that is worth researching, we think. Presently we're learning about discoveries of various crops, thanks to a programme about the history of civilisation, very engaging (^v^)
Yes, many of us must work and pay a mortgage. "Six o'clock, 25 years," Coo informs. Not Bro G, however. Tree types and birds are indeed splendid things (^v^)
Cheerie,
F & (^v^)
Greetings, Fliss and Coo,
Woo-hoo, potatoes! Rita continues to work on the discovery of apples, so your program would likely have interested her.
I’ve had four mortgages in my life, each 30-year (perhaps a US thing), so yes, mortgages are familiar turf!
Cheerie,
John
Woo-hoo, potatoes! Rita continues to work on the discovery of apples, so your program would likely have interested her.
I’ve had four mortgages in my life, each 30-year (perhaps a US thing), so yes, mortgages are familiar turf!
Cheerie,
John
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CalebPerry
- Perspicacious Poster
- Posts: 3096
- Joined: Wed Jul 11, 2018 11:26 am
John, I've noticed about you that we have some things in common. I think we are both looking for the grand statement in our poetry. In this poem you segue into physics. In my poems, I often segue into religion -- often trying to relate the lowest aspects of life (sodomy, poop, etc.) to the highest (God). We are both trying to express the ineffable.
I want to get back to the birds in that final line:
>>>>> even the stars, even the smallest child, even the birds.
I don't know how you would fit it in, since your lines are a uniform length (more or less -- I haven't done any counting), but this just came into my mind: "even the birds don't know how they fly". I can't say why, exactly, but I think that line might fit into your poem (if I'm understanding your meaning, which I may not be).
Just a thought.
By the way, I have a completely new finishing line on my Prayer poem. I'd love it if you would let me know if the line works for you.
I want to get back to the birds in that final line:
>>>>> even the stars, even the smallest child, even the birds.
I don't know how you would fit it in, since your lines are a uniform length (more or less -- I haven't done any counting), but this just came into my mind: "even the birds don't know how they fly". I can't say why, exactly, but I think that line might fit into your poem (if I'm understanding your meaning, which I may not be).
Just a thought.
By the way, I have a completely new finishing line on my Prayer poem. I'd love it if you would let me know if the line works for you.
Signature info:
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
If you don't like the black theme, it is easy to switch to a lighter color. Just ask me how.
If I don't critique your poem, it is probably because I don't understand it.
Hi Caleb,
Yes and yes. I think we do have similar preoccupations, and I like your review of that. I also think your suggestion is very much in keeping with my poem, buit yes, this thing is metrical. I'll have a ponder. Will now go in search of your prayer poem.
Cheers,
John
Yes and yes. I think we do have similar preoccupations, and I like your review of that. I also think your suggestion is very much in keeping with my poem, buit yes, this thing is metrical. I'll have a ponder. Will now go in search of your prayer poem.
Cheers,
John