gazelles

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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ton321
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Tue Sep 24, 2024 2:30 am

we lept frightened
in the city
the three of us.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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Macavity
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Tue Sep 24, 2024 11:08 am

ton321 wrote: ↑
Tue Sep 24, 2024 2:30 am
 eyes wide we leapt
into the city
the three of us
Perhaps you need some signifier for fear Tony? I think the theme has resonance.
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ton321
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Posts: 794
Joined: Sat Feb 08, 2014 12:54 am

Wed Sep 25, 2024 8:11 am

Perhaps you're right. Cheers Mac.
Counting the beats,
Counting the slow heart beats,
The bleeding to death of time in slow heart beats,
Wakeful they lie.

Robert Graves
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