Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Fri Jun 08, 2007 8:40 am

Blame it on the yeast?
Ber..but they don't use any
in ber..black ber ..bread.
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:23 am

Ber ber black ber ber bread
tastes like ler-leather. Its's good
for repairing shoes
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:30 am

For repairing shoes -
First aquire a damn good last,
then remove the shoes...
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:04 am

Then remove the shoes
so as to insert the last -
The last goes in first*


*I should get a job as a straight man - shame about the hump
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:08 am

The last goes in first
in a reverse universe,
yet never gets in.
pseud
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:19 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:18 pm

"yet never gets in"
is a really bad way to
start a haiku train
Minstrel
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 650
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:00 pm
Location: North West England

Fri Jun 08, 2007 9:53 pm

start a haiku train
Pseud, with 'vegetarian:'
It's a carnival
therowingmonk
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:11 pm
Location: Loughborough, Leicestershire

Fri Jun 08, 2007 10:07 pm

It's a carnival
Carnivorous cavalcade
Haiku veggie train
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Sat Jun 09, 2007 1:19 pm

Haiku veggie train
haiku carnivore to eat
vegetarian.
therowingmonk
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:11 pm
Location: Loughborough, Leicestershire

Sat Jun 09, 2007 9:26 pm

Vegetarian?
So you come full circle now:
Arise, write, return.
Minstrel
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 650
Joined: Tue Jun 07, 2005 4:00 pm
Location: North West England

Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:39 am

Arise, write, return.
Sir Herbivore, before I
change my royal mind.
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Sun Jun 10, 2007 12:12 pm

Change my royal mind?
By losing my royal head -
Or my name's not Charles!
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Sun Jun 10, 2007 4:27 pm

Or my name's not Charles!
Could be George, Jacques or Tony.
Can't remember which...?
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Sun Jun 10, 2007 10:07 pm

Can't remember which,
how, who, why or even when -
So what happens now?
therowingmonk
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:11 pm
Location: Loughborough, Leicestershire

Mon Jun 11, 2007 8:37 am

So what happens now
is lost, each cocooned in his
own reality.
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Mon Jun 11, 2007 9:58 am

Own reality?
I don't even own my dreams -
freedom from all ties!
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Mon Jun 11, 2007 10:38 am

Freedom from all ties!
Revolution has begun!
No more button downs!
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
User avatar
twoleftfeet
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6761
Joined: Wed Dec 07, 2005 4:02 pm
Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:11 pm

No more button downs,
hand-me-downs, or eiderdowns
while Ebay is down
.
.
.
therowingmonk
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:11 pm
Location: Loughborough, Leicestershire

Mon Jun 11, 2007 12:35 pm

While eBay is down
Stan steals what he might have won,
e-legal then illegal.
juliadebeauvoir
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2083
Joined: Wed Feb 01, 2006 2:42 am
Location: East of Eden

Mon Jun 11, 2007 4:04 pm

E-legal then illegal.
Elicit then illicit.
Funny play on words.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Mon Jun 11, 2007 6:19 pm

Funny play on words,
a funnier play on stage,
but not by Shakespears.
kozmikdave
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2185
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:22 am

"Butt Knot", by Shakespeare -
tale of mediaeval knights
in love triangle
Cheers
Dave

"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
"
[Tom]
Charles
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 282
Joined: Sat Dec 09, 2006 10:06 pm
Location: Reading, England

Tue Jun 12, 2007 1:44 am

in love triangle
grassmowers eat lawn and turf
untill all is dirt
dedalus
Preternatural Poster
Preternatural Poster
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:51 am
Location: Ireland/Japan

Tue Jun 12, 2007 3:36 am

Until all is dirt?
We return from whence we came:
flirt and squirt again.
therowingmonk
Posts: 6
Joined: Fri Jun 01, 2007 12:11 pm
Location: Loughborough, Leicestershire

Tue Jun 12, 2007 11:14 am

Flirt and Squirt again,
Squirt is jostled in the crowd,
Flirt winks at soldiers.
Post Reply