H.U.B.

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Post Reply
beautifulloser
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 934
Joined: Fri May 26, 2006 11:03 pm
Location: South Of Watford
Contact:

Mon Oct 29, 2007 2:27 pm

Good afternoon <insert name>,

welcome to the H.U.B;
the intersection
of all permutations
of possible plurality,
available and shifting
within the realms of
finite time

Please select an option from the left hand menu,
or press F1 for help


Copyright: Electronic Data Systems
I'm sick of it, sick of it all. I know I'm right and I don't give a shit!
Sean Sweeney
Posts: 23
Joined: Thu Oct 18, 2007 5:11 pm
Location: Scotland.

Mon Oct 29, 2007 9:02 pm

Hey. Another poem that kind of grabs me. I'm really enjoying your work.

You seem to really convey disatisfaction with modern life. Sorry my replies are so skimpy, I'm never really sure what to say. But the poems of yours which I've read, I've been able to relate to a great deal. You convey important point/ideas but manage to keep a sort of dry humour.

There's one or two things, but I'd rather re-read it a few times before I comment on them.
Merlin
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 353
Joined: Tue Oct 02, 2007 1:38 am

Tue Oct 30, 2007 2:58 pm

Very Orwellian ..... kinda enjoyed it, but found it tôo general. :shock:

Would like to see and read something in the same tone…but more s :twisted: pecific :twisted: …..

Thanks BL..
kozmikdave
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2185
Joined: Sun Jun 25, 2006 9:36 am
Location: Brisbane, Australia

Wed Oct 31, 2007 12:34 am

Gidday BL

I've been puzzling over the acronym, H.U.B. (I am familiar with E.D.S. via "Private Eye" - and they want to use the company here in Aus!) Please enlighten. I liked the Orwellian nature of the piece too, especially "Good afternoon <insert name>" although pity you didn't write some boolean set to replace "afternoon".

We're watching you....
Cheers
Dave

"And I'm lost, and I'm lost
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
I'm handcuffed to the bishop and the barbershop liar
I'm lost at the bottom of the world
"
[Tom]
ioansant

Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:31 pm

Hub
Last edited by ioansant on Sat Nov 10, 2007 1:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
User avatar
barrie
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 6069
Joined: Thu Oct 20, 2005 1:13 am
Location: lake district

Wed Oct 31, 2007 1:47 pm

I liked this one - I like the idea behind it. It's simple and it's open to interpretation - I mulled over a few, but the one preferred was a sort of modern, internet fueled, trancendental meditation course - like the ones run by that great conman, Mahareeshi Mahesh Yogi in the sixties, but with a computer as teacher. Lennon wrote Sexy Sadie about him. It was originally called Mahareeshi but he chickened out just in case the Mahareeshi really had the power to put a curse on him.

nice one

Barrie
dogofdiogenes
Prolific Poster
Prolific Poster
Posts: 342
Joined: Fri Sep 21, 2007 11:53 pm

Thu Nov 01, 2007 7:27 pm

Sleepy, man. I like the play between the language forms, the spirit world firmly boundaried by technical language. Time could also move in different ways?

hound :P
I never give explanations-Mary Poppins (Management in the NHS-rewritten by Nightingale F,. original by Hunt,.G)
beautifulloser
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 934
Joined: Fri May 26, 2006 11:03 pm
Location: South Of Watford
Contact:

Fri Nov 02, 2007 1:56 am

0111010001101000011000010110111001101011011100110010000001100100011000010111011001100101 - thanks dave

Dave - it occurred to me I should probably have thought about the acronym, but, erm, I'm a lazy bastard, see. :P

Oh, and if Mr Brown (your Mr Brown) is allowing that kind of grotesque buggery, well, I'm sure you've heard . . . .mind you, I can understand why they're touting for business on the other side of the planet, as we're busy suing them over here :D

Ioan, the reason I went for hub was because of those old networking devices, the green was meant to make it look like those old mainframe interfaces, there's something romantic about old technology, as though the HUB was made many, many moons ago . . . . or something.

I like the wheel thing though, not an engineer, but have been bored by the laborius process whilst always inspired by it's efforts . . . . I heard recently the Google Evangelists are spreading the http (TCP IP) network into space (which has finite numbers, incidentally, allebit we are throwing away rather a lot), mind you, slight hic-cup apparently is that something faster than the speed of light is required to propagate it all . . . . . maybe something damp, smelly and green (and a full help system that is easy to use and understand) provides the protocol to harmony, wellbeing, plenty of sex, jam roly poly, bibles and matchsticks for everyone .

Anything with that sort of potential has to be in the hands of some filthy American power hungry shit head, too - ah, the tragedy! It'll probably work and sell well though, perhaps humans in other universes hadn't discovered it and we can go round financially exploiting ourselves in other realities, that'd be alright I reckon, if you're a Republican American - it's looking more viable with every key stroke.

Any suggestions well received for the acronym, though. . . . or if you fancy something else to work with I quite liked S.W.I.T.C.H too (or plurals of either). . .

Baz, I like that idea - I find myself laughing at me, and it . . . I might put a beard on my monitor, actually . . . .and that robe, you know, the one you don't want (but you'll have the money, the anticipated nothern retort) shall be wrapped round my, erm, tower.

Or do I mean desktop, or you know,
the plastic thing the stuff is in
with all the things
that hum in whirlwinds
the magic chips and memory strips
that process all the binaries.

Yeh, you know, gonna wrap it round whatever the correct term is for that thing - I mean, what is it, actually? A tower?, a box? - ah, CASE! Yeh, gonna wrap the robe round my PC Case. Sheeesheaking, freaking mary . . . . ok, back in reality, yep, typing - that's good . . . .

Right, talking bollocks - excuse the gibberish - thanks all!

xx
I'm sick of it, sick of it all. I know I'm right and I don't give a shit!
Post Reply