Scapefish

[madawc]

Taking an old sack,
I filled it with a
thousand sorrows,
rowed to the middle
of the moonless lake
and let it sink.

I wonder if there's
a fish
called Azazel.


original lines 4 & 5 edited out.

[kozmikdave]

Gidday

A clever image requiring OT or Hebrew knowledge.

Apparently the goat was not named Azazel. Rather, the name was written on it - a sort of forerunner to the Royal Mail. But I'm not being picky.

[madawc]

Dave - The name azazel comes from the Hebrew, ez, meaning goat, and azel, which means to go away, or escape. The name itself translates as escape goat - Early biblical translations used this but the word scapegoat took its place. Some say that Azazel was a demon and that the goat was a sacrifice which seems unlikely. If the word azazal is given a different etymology, then it could mean majestic or powerful god. Azaz meaning powerful, El meaning god.
I prefer the first version - If a fish was used, then I suppose its name would be Dagazel, not Azazel.

Thanks a lot for your time - I'm glad that you picked up on the OT folklore behind it.

Madawc

[kozmikdave]

Gidday mate

I grew up with the Yom Kippur story and knew the role of the scapegoat. I wasn't sure of it's Hebrew origins so read a little from Wiki. I leave a copy. It does include your derivation.

The first appearance of the name "Azazel" is in Leviticus 16:8, when God orders the high priest Aaron to "place lots upon the 2 goats, one marked for the Lord and the other marked for Azazel" on the Jewish Day of Atonement. The goat designated by lot for the Lord is to be used as a sin offering, while the goat designated for Azazel "shall be left standing alive before the Lord, to make expiation with it and to send it off to the wilderness to Azazel" (Lev. 16:10). Aaron was to "lay both his hands upon the head of the live goat and confess over it all the iniquities and transgressions of the Israelites, whatever their sins, putting them on the head of the goat; and it shall be sent off to the wilderness by someone designated for the task. Thus the goat shall carry on it all their iniquities to an inaccessible region; and the goat shall be set free in the wilderness" (Lev. 16:21-22). Leviticus also says that "He who set the goat for Azazel free shall wash his clothes and bathe his body in water; after that he may reenter the camp" (16:26). This is the origin of the term scape-goat.

According to some scholars, the name Azazel may be derived from azaz meaning strong, rugged, or grandeur/majesty, and el meaning of God or strong, giving either strong one of God or referring to the rugged and rough mountain cliff from which the goat was cast down. Some propose that Azazel may have been derived from the Canaanite god 'Asiz, who caused the sun to burn strongly.

The Talmud (Yoma 67b) identifies Azazel as the name of a cliff over which the goat was driven in the atonement ritual for Yom Kippur. This version was cited by the Biblical commentator Rashi, who took "azazel" to mean "rough ground" or "cliff," and this meaning was accepted by many Jewish commentators who wished to avoid contamination of the Torah by traces of polytheism or belief in demons. Thus Ibn Ezra took "Azazel" to refer to "a mountain near Sinai," while G. R. Disker took the "rough ground" to be Dudael, a rocky place where the fallen angel Azazel is imprisoned" (I Enoch 10:4-6). It has also been identified with Hudedun, "a rocky terrace in the wilderness, ten miles from Jerusalem." (The Torah, A Modern Commentary, p 1735, n. 4)

Azazel was translated as "scapegoat" in the King James Version of the Bible (1611). King James' translators derived the word scapegoat from William Tyndale's translation of the Bible about 1530, which split azazel into the component parts ez ozel: literally, the "goat that departs," hence "the goat that escapes," or, for short, "(e)scape goat." Since this goat, with the sins of the people placed on it, is then sent over a cliff or driven into the wilderness to perish (perhaps at the hands of the desert demon Azazel), the word "scapegoat" has come to mean a person, often innocent, who is blamed or punished for the sins, crimes or sufferings of others.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Azazel

[madawc]

Thanks for the info Dave. I'm sure there must be other references to this hidden among all the Jewish tales that came out of Europe through the centuries.

madawc

[dl04]

I read this a while back, and never got round to commenting on it. So here goes.

Overall i really like this, strong structure, flowing lines and a nice ending. Some points though:

thousand sorrows,
weighed it down
with regrets,

a bit cliched for me this sentence, i've never been a fan of 'regrets' and it just makes the line a little flat IMO. Takes my attention away from the otherwise sparkling imagery.

However, that's only a little nit, and i love the ending. Just super-original.

Keep it up

dl04.

[catastrotopia]

I love that this poem is short and straightforward. It seems to fit the decided "I'm-over-this" mood. I can't think of a thing i would change.

-c

[dogofdiogenes]

M,

I enjoyed this a lot. I'm no fan of 'regrets' either, but that is a small quibble. This feels strong, has a solid feel to it. Made me think of the next step after Haiku. Enjoyed the imagery, the feeling which went with it. Thank you.

doggo

[David]

I like it as well, but I'd lose lines 4 and 5. I don't think you need them at all.

Very clever, very good.

Cheers

David

[keekee107]

Ah very nice. Short, sweet and clever. My only nit-pick is the use of thousand sorrows. It may be more of a personal thing but I just felt this phrase was a little cliched. I agree lines 4 and 5 could go but there is something about line 4 I love. The imagery from it, to me, is lovely. May just be personal again though... I am a little odd afterall!

Anyway, very nice.

[madawc]

Thank you all for spending time on this. David, after looking at it a few more times, I think you have a point. Lines 4 & 5 will have to go.

Madawc

[David]

Thank you all for spending time on this. David, after looking at it a few more times, I think you have a point. Lines 4 & 5 will have to go.

Madawc

Reading it again, now, do you know - I think I was right. The slimmed down version is excellent.

Cheers

David

[arunansu]

Wonderful image M, though I feel "thousand sorrows" a bit cliched. Apart from that, enjoyed the read, specially the ending.
Cheers.

[madawc]

Thanks again David.

I feel "thousand sorrows" a bit cliched.

I've probably read too much Chinese poetry. One thousand is a nice round number though: eleven hundred and eighty seven sorrows is quite a mouthful

Thank you both.

madawc.

[Lake]

I didn't have the chance to read the original, but I do like the edit.

thousand sorrows,
rowed to the middle
of the moonless lake (that's me. )

is much better than

thousand sorrows,
weighed it down
with regrets (if this is the original)

If 'thousand sorrows' is a cliché , then 'thousand knots' is another.

Cheers,

Lake

[dedalus]

Simple, nice, simple ... oh oh! here come meanings!
To be honest ...........
I just like the way it sounds. I love the easy simple swing.

Nice, relaxed, unstrained.

Is Mise, dedalus

[madawc]

the moonless lake (that's me. )

I'm sure it's just a phase that the moon's going through, you'll get your silver soon.

Thank you Lake and Dedalus.