She takes the brush
and slowly creates something.
It's never to her standards
and the paint is always running,
streaming down
deforming her fruit bowls
and her many faces of Jesus.
'I'm a critic at heart'.
She lacks the warmth of Constable,
she's deranged like Van Gogh
except she values her ears.
Doesn't hang up her work
for every 'fool' to see.
Her pride is in the solitude
and the empty paint tubes
that need to be refilled.
'I'm a critic at heart'
Hi dl04,
A nice, compact poem.
It isn't a sad subject but I felt that 'lonliness' and an unfulfilled personality was at the core of the poem.
I couldn't work out why I thought sadness was an element,
until I re-read it and I think it was because of the words 'solitude', 'empty' and 'refilled' (reinforcing the emptiness) are all in the same stanza.
The narrator's own critical eye has prevented her from blossoming as a person.
Cheers
smiffey
PS- Final stanza typo - Doesn't
A nice, compact poem.
It isn't a sad subject but I felt that 'lonliness' and an unfulfilled personality was at the core of the poem.
I couldn't work out why I thought sadness was an element,
until I re-read it and I think it was because of the words 'solitude', 'empty' and 'refilled' (reinforcing the emptiness) are all in the same stanza.
The narrator's own critical eye has prevented her from blossoming as a person.
Cheers
smiffey
PS- Final stanza typo - Doesn't
Regards Andy Smith
I think this is very good, dl. Some great phrases - I love
deforming her fruit bowls
and her many faces of Jesus and
she's deranged like Van Gogh [not Gough!]
except she values her ears.
Strangely enough, I'm not sure your title adds anything to the poem, in the body of it at least.
The ending is excellent -
Her pride is in the solitude
and the empty paint tubes
that need to be refilled.
Lovely stuff.
Cheers
David
deforming her fruit bowls
and her many faces of Jesus and
she's deranged like Van Gogh [not Gough!]
except she values her ears.
Strangely enough, I'm not sure your title adds anything to the poem, in the body of it at least.
The ending is excellent -
Her pride is in the solitude
and the empty paint tubes
that need to be refilled.
Lovely stuff.
Cheers
David
Simply loved it. The last strophe is a gem. Enjoyed.
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Sharra
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I really like this too - especially 'deforming her fruit bowls' and the ending. 
I think my only query would be whether the line 'I'm a critic at heart' in italics is necessary, it stopped the flow of the poem for me and I think I got that feeling anyway from the rest of the poem.
Sharra
x
I think my only query would be whether the line 'I'm a critic at heart' in italics is necessary, it stopped the flow of the poem for me and I think I got that feeling anyway from the rest of the poem.
Sharra
x
It is at the edge of the
petal that love waits
petal that love waits