Twilight (Revised)
As the day merged with the night
Blending with the white moonlight
A solitary candle’s amber glow
Memories of long ago
Sitting on the threadbare chair
Empty words no feelings there
Your voice, devoid of tender tone
The light switched on and I went home
The rays of rainbow coloured light
Reflect from the stained glass window
As the day changed into the night
The creeping darkness filled the air
The glow from a lonely candle
Cast shadows on an empty chair
The painted pictures on the wall
Hanging lifeless and unmoving
Their faces watching over all
Your eyes were cold and hard as stone
No sparkle or shine just bleakness
The light switched on and I went home
Twilight (Revised)
gal
A little bit of a creepy feeling to this and I can see you have worked at the rhyme.
Its maybe let down a bit by some overused phrases - lonely candle, empty chair, shadows cast, hard as stone. This is the tough bit of writing - finding original ways to say things that have been said often.
Keep at it.
elph
A little bit of a creepy feeling to this and I can see you have worked at the rhyme.
Its maybe let down a bit by some overused phrases - lonely candle, empty chair, shadows cast, hard as stone. This is the tough bit of writing - finding original ways to say things that have been said often.
Keep at it.
elph
