I could scream
my insignificance
until the sound
fused with the clouds,
but-
it would be just more
wind and hot air
indistinguishable
in the massive expanse.
scream
I really like these kinds of poems, short succinct but yet cause you to stop and think. I sense a great deal of frustration here and like the weay there is no realy explanation for it, just allows one to feel the words and empathise if not understand the experience. Really like it!
this is good, but could be better. you have the foundation for something great, with some fine tuning. when you say i could scream my insignificance, it would be a nice touch if you put across that you couldnt actually make a sound, so rather than the "sound" fusing with the clouds, perhaps find a way of the sound getting lost before it escapes your throat. maybe that being the wind and hot air you talk about at the end.
lots to ponder
H
lots to ponder
H
Aren't people absurd! They never use the freedoms they do have but demand those they don't have; they have freedom of thought, they demand freedom of speech.