Capsule

[mesmie]

Time tells me
I am ungrateful, thankless.
For this and that
are not of much importance
as once upon and I am learning,
not to depend.
Although in my mind
I always ached for more,
desired that you heard
or pictured me, within some mood
of pleasurable thought.
And when I hurt, to hold me
yet carry no blame.
None was offered,
I am my own influence,
my own course.
And as I remember this and you,
I travel one uncertain line,
backed into bed on comforts pillow,
appreciate brief, tender moments.
My need of you
unsated.

[ray miller]

It may be the alcohol but I thought this was great. Lines 3 to 6 I really enjoyed. "within some mood of pleasurable thought", maybe I'm being pedantic(and at this time of night!) but a mood of thought doesn't sound right. Perhaps "some pleasurable mood or thought"? I'm not entirely sure why but it reminds me of Losing My Religion by REM.

[karalma]

I liked the message in this (or at least the message I read), particularly "I am my own influence, my own course." Because I am new to poetry I had to read this a few times and pay particular attention to the punctuation. Thank you for teaching me this.