Two Wolves

[karalma]

Two Wolves

A boy stares at another, fists clenched by his thighs.
Ahead, only he can see two wolves standing side by side.
A black wolf and a white wolf, both beckon him to follow.
He feels the howl in his throat and the clawing in his tummy.
How can he know, which path to take, which wolf he should follow?
As they part and prowl away he knows he has to choose.
Which one will be his saviour? Which one will tear him apart?
His hands release as wolves slink away, one victorious in battle.
Today the white wolf won, but tomorrow it may be his foe,
for this quest will have to be fought most days of his life.

[Alucinary]

I like this - I would never have thought of something like that to symbolise a choice The only thing I spotted (and I'm not sure its even something that really needs changing) is that "tummy" did not seem to fit with the rest of your language choice.

[karalma]

thanks Alucinary
I was trying to portray that it was a young boy with the word "tummy", I thought of putting "young boy" in the first line but was trying to show not tell - I have a lot to learn lol.

[El Wow!]

this kept me gripped, a super read, i just wanna know why this may happen to him all his life.
El

[Danté]

Karalma

This is certainly a different style to the other poems I have read of yours.
I also pondered "tummy" in fact I pondered it from when you posted until this morning.
My conclusion is obviously subjective, I like it, and think it puts the reader in the right place
and relates well to the main character in a way that portrays the tenderness of the piece.

I took "all his life" to be used in a metaphorical way to illustrate the choices we all are
confronted with, and the constant having to overcome aspects of life as we pass through it.
That worked for me, as did the remainder of the poem.
I also noted the way the poem is laid out, with the questioning in the middle section, and
the way some of those issues are concluded with others left to future issues.
Taking into consideration the openning sentences, this gives the piece a pleasant structure.

Thanks for the read

Danté

[karalma]

Hi

Thanks for your interpretations. On reflection I think I'll keep "tummy". "all his life" had 2 meanings for me - 1 was the general choices faced in life as Dante suggested. I was also thinking of a young boy with a natural inclination to fight who would have to face this throughout his life. Hope this makes sense.

It is diffeent to the other work posted but as I'm new I thought I would try different things and I'm really enjoying doing so.

thanks

K

[BenJohnson]

Good to see the use of metaphor here karalma it works well, especially since it breaks the big bad wolf image, nice to see that wolves can be good or bad not typecast. I guess 'tummy' worked for me I certainly had the image of a young boy while reading and since you didn't specify an age I guess it came from the use of this word.

A big leap from your last couple of postings and you have pulled it off well.

[mesmie]

Great stuff nothing to add as I am late into this thread...cept it worked well for me...


mes