Leisure

[arunansu]

I sipped cider
in the comfort of sea breeze;
a bald man, in his forties,
kept humming an odd tune
beside me.

[PhilipCFJohnson]

Hey Aru!

Certainly some effective imagery, but it's unusual for you to write in such a straight forward manner, or maybe I'm just failing to see the layer beneath the surface.

Is there anything behind the memory is it just a pleasant recapitulation?

I think the contrasts between the first two lines and the last three are quite stark (for me anyways) The presence of the bald man and his odd tune made me feel unsettled somewhat against the lush comfort offered in the opening lines. However this is just me. I can also see how the bald man could be a father figure, so either way it's a very effective device, and certainly a uniquely phrased one!

All the best
Phil

[arunansu]

Dear Ohillip,

It's about ruminating on "aged" wishes, which keeps strumming even while we enjoy a rest. These old ones stay close by myself.
Cheers.

[John G]

loved this
Simple and painted a great picture, took me back to summers passed in sunnier times.

[karalma]

I enjoyed this. It had a great feeling of comfort.

[Suzanne]

I liked this. It was a good catch of a mood.
The title is perfect.
Thanks,
Suzanne

[arunansu]

Thanks John, Karalma, Suzanne for your replies.