Vision

[jazziwoz]

The Path of Life is never straight
Its full of twists and bends
It stretches out ahead of us
We don’t know where it ends

The path is not always smooth and flat
It may be an uneven track - you slip, you stumble
Sometimes you fall - things may
Look better looking back

Sometimes there is a mapped out route
That guides us through the day
And sometimes it is out of view
Or we stop and lose our way

The sky above may be full of clouds
Black and full of rain
That fill our thoughts with greyness
That fill our hearts with pain

But then a chink of blue appears
And things don’t seem so bad
The sun, the warmth, the open field
Of life we may be glad

The path of life is never straight
We walk it day to day
Its up to us what we see or find
Or miss along the way!

[arunansu]

You have maintained 4 line per stanza rule throughout, but in doing so, some lines read too predictable or cliched to me, specially in S1L4 where you say:
"We don’t know where it ends"

or in S4L4: "That fill our hearts with pain"

Other than that, it's a pleasant write, I really enjoyed :
"Sometimes you fall - things may
Look better looking back"

Thanks for the read.

[Lovely]

I thought it was a good observation of life in general. The above comment was a good crit.


Very nice work.


DJL