Hour before sunset

[arunansu]

**
she tiptoes
into my mind
slips to the farthest corner

**
cirrus waves
inform a Gulmohar
of an alien

**

fog monster
engulfs the hill --
I search phrase book

**

hummingbird
flirts around
reddened marigold

**
[ Gulmohar – Royal Poinciana tree ]

[Lovely]

Wow again Aru.

Are you in a blissful state of samadi all the time?

I know some great friends really and they will love you to bits.

So ever there in image again. Pink floyd-eeeee--------numb..

sunsets falling beauty over me and calling......................


so let it rip then and why not my Sun...........................

it's cool.


L x

[gpierre]

Beautiful.

G

[FP7]

Nice one, Arunansu - really liked the ending. I thought you described the colours of the 'scene' very well. The 'phrase book' line was the only one that jarred for me - I didn't really get it and it didn't seem to fit together that well with the lovely idea of the fog monster roaming around.

Also, should the cirrus waves inform rather than informs...?

Enjoyed it.

[gpierre]

I'm sure 'informs' is right:

the waves have a certain duality.

[Helen Bywater]

The waves are plural, certainly - that's why it should be "inform", not "informs". You wouldn't say "they informs", but "they inform".

I must say, Aru, I think you do brilliantly to write so well in a language that's not your first language. I notice the occasional mistake, but not that many. I hope you don't mind being told about them. A couple of times I've been unsure whether to say anything, but I suppose you'd want to know - I would if I was writing in another language. Please tell me if it's annoying, though.

Helen

[arunansu]

Thanks Lovely , Gpeirre.

Dear FP7,
By "phrase book" I meant I was searching for the right words to describe my feelings, seeing the fog.

Dear Helen,
Thanks to you. Believe me, I'm learning English. I take these glitches more seriously these days, so it is important for me to know what's going wrong. Even after three years of writing, I feel myself as a "beginner". And I haven't started recitation as yet. So a lot of work needs to be done. Let's see if I can improve. Smiles.

[gpierre]

I was assuming the waves was being used as an Intransitive verb as well as a noun. Given the dreamy mystical nature of the piece I thought it fitted.

My mistake, but I still prefer it the other way.

G

[arunansu]

No G, its a noun here. Its so difficult to master the grammar! Smiles.