Notes from a maniac - I

[arunansu]

This obsessive coercion
of studying You, You,
and only You,

The jangle of nights and daylights,
the stitching of cliched phrases for You, You,
and only You,

… My ego-defense mechanisms
have struggled hard to argue, deny and rationalize
in vain

Barriers have collapsed,
card houses have toppled in ignorant breeze

I’ve stopped making further attempts
to repress, regress, or suppress
my known impulses

The storm chases me, reluctantly
billows flakes of tender days

Only for You, You,
and for Your frequent pleasure

[Crustyman]

I think that perhaps thou doth protest a little too much. Most of this poem is about you, not about the person you claim to regard with such fervor. In a sense, the poem needs to be turned inside-out in order to give the very powerful and genuine emotion its proper freedom to declare your full worth and that of your loved one.

[arunansu]

Thanks Crustyman for your thoughts. 'You' refers to the loved one, I thought. Smiles.

[Elphin]

hi arun,

I hope you dont mind I like to tell you when its good and when (at least for me) its not so good.

This time, not so good. I think its too "telly" - an interesting theme but you could say so much more by showing.

cheers

elph

[arunansu]

I'm with you, Elphin, when you say its "telly". Deliberately so. I needed to use the voice more, since the person admits that he's turned obsessive in love, and it's his lament that I felt could be best expressed with his own words. Of course, I have used images, images of boundaries, card houses etc., but its more of an emotional outburst here. I could have easily used a bunch of images, but I needed his own voice, the repetition of "You".

I would also take the opportunity to request you to write to me about your thoughts on my yesterday's piece, if possible, "One poem whispered to me".

Thank you Elphin. I know all my poems cannot be up to the mark. That 100% perfection is illusive to me. Yet, I'm trying more on using monologues/ dialogues alongside images. I want my free verses to be somehow close to Zuihitsu, almost like diary entries. And of course, there remains scope for improvement, and with help from all my friends here, I believe I will improve. Thanks.

[anniecat]

Arun, there's potential in this work, but It's funny how when we move on in our writes, trying out new things, we seem to become another person sometimes, all a learning curve...hey

[Lovely]

John Keats, his short life though, wrote pieces quite simular.

It is what you wanted to express.

Dear Aru, thanks

[arunansu]

Thanks Anniecat, I tried to become a 'maniac' while writing this, not a poet who binds visuals together.

Thanks Lovely for your reply. I can assure you, this was Me. Smiles.

[hugozepeda]

A beautiful poem somewhat existentialist in my opinion
a pleasure to walk your poems
Saludos

[anniecat]

a pleasure to walk your poems
Saludos.

What a nice thought.........walk the poems.

[arunansu]

Thank you, Hugo. That was really very nice of you to say so. Thanks Anniecat, again.

[David]

I was just thinking about this -

Like the beat beat beat of the tom-tom
When the jungle shadows fall
Like the tick tick tock of the stately clock
As it stands against the wall
Like the drip drip drip of the raindrops
When the summer shower is through
So a voice within me keeps repeating you, you, you

- when I noticed this - The jangle of nights and daylights

Coincidence, or intentional hommage? Interesting, anyway.

Cheers

David

[arunansu]

Thanks David for being here. I don't know whether its a hommage, but thanks to you for pointing to the internal rhyme. Smiles.

[David]

Thanks David for being here. I don't know whether its a hommage, but thanks to you for pointing to the internal rhyme.

No, I meant the Cole Porter connection. Savvy?