Breathless against your body is mine,
sweated, exhausted, taught;
yet soft and still tender to touch.
Entwined, let us now sleep.
Breathless
let us now sleep
now that the sweat has gone
and we are warmer than ever
Nice vignette, once again, Anniecat.
now that the sweat has gone
and we are warmer than ever
Nice vignette, once again, Anniecat.
anniecat,
I noted the start of line rhymes and thought you worked them in very well. The content seems to work in conjunction with the form too.
You might want to look at the capitalisation immediately after the semicolon as I'm not convinced it's warranted.
Very tightly packed short form.
Good stuff
all best
Danté
I noted the start of line rhymes and thought you worked them in very well. The content seems to work in conjunction with the form too.
You might want to look at the capitalisation immediately after the semicolon as I'm not convinced it's warranted.
Very tightly packed short form.
Good stuff
all best
Danté
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch