Haiku Train

[barrie]

That's a handicap -
a straitjcaket, much more so
than a straitjacket.

.....................

Dyslexia rules KO

[twoleftfeet]

Than a straitjacket
or a long hairy horse race -
ninety nine furlongs

----------------------------
a military straitcjaket has no army holes

[barrie]

ninety nine furlongs
nearly twelve and a half mile -
that takes some ploughing.

[Jester]

that takes some ploughing -
seeing as the brown cow has
udder ideas.

[barrie]

udder ideas
are often thought up by tits.
MP's as a rule.

[Jester]

MP's as a rule?
They're all bent as nine bob notes,
Curly feathered nests.

[barrie]

Curly feathered nests?
What else did Curly feather -
Was he a fletcher?

[twoleftfeet]

Was he a Fletcher?
No, but his gut quivered as
he hit three trebles

[barrie]

he hit three trebles
the clefs came to seek revenge
he was stunned by staves

[twoleftfeet]

He was stunned by staves
wielded by Shaolin jazzmen -
Felonious Monks*



*stolen with thanks from Terry Pratchett

[barrie]

Felonious monks,
admitted to hospital -
had their tonsures out.

[twoleftfeet]

Had their tonsures out?
No, they broke down with frost-bite -
asked me for a toe (or was it a tow, or a Tao?)

[barrie]

Asked me for a tow.
Now you get a "bloody hell,
that was terrible!"

[twoleftfeet]

"That was terrible"
said Ivan's wife "Not much dic
for a dictator".....

[barrie]

for a dictator
yur prinonciatian is
abdominable

[twoleftfeet]

Abdominable
- sounds like how I pronounce words
after a six-pack

[barrie]

After a six pack?
Get down to the gym, there's an
off-licence next door!

[Jester]

Off-licence next door,
off-door in the next block, and
often frequented.

[ccvulture]

Often frequented,
like new gravestones freshly laid,
soon to be forgot.

[barrie]

Soon to be forgot -
What was? I can't remember
for the life of me!

[Jester]

For the life of me
and my invisible friend,
I'll give you ten quid

[barrie]

I'll give you ten quid?
What am I talking about -
Will I hell as like!

[Jester]

Will I hell - as like
as not you'll make off with both -
friend and filthy dosh.

[barrie]

friend and filthy dosh
and the money launderer -
now it's all kosher.

[Jester]

Now it's all kosher,
powered down with the kacher -
a new water mark.