Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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twoleftfeet
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Wed Apr 23, 2008 8:51 am

Must try harder, Tim,
you little skiver, or I'll
kick you in thr crutch
.
.
davelord
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Joined: Tue Apr 15, 2008 10:07 pm

Thu Apr 24, 2008 9:14 pm

kick you in thr crutch
I also confused my arse
with my ears. Oh bum
Travis
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Thu Apr 24, 2008 10:05 pm

With my ears, oh bum,
did I hear the poverty
of your cry - "got change?"
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Gene van Troyer
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Fri Apr 25, 2008 10:50 am

For an ice-cold beer
I mose certainly do rave—
Pause for Burma Shave...
"If you don't like my principles, I have others." —Groucho Marx
Travis
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Sat Apr 26, 2008 2:37 am

Pause for Burma Shave
and for Gene van Troyer, for
he broke the rules here...
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twoleftfeet
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Location: Standing by a short pier, looking for a long run-up

Sat Apr 26, 2008 9:22 am

Of your cry "Got change?,
I remained oblivious:
All misers are deaf
kozmikdave
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Tue Apr 29, 2008 12:23 pm

All misers are deaf -
functionally deaf and blind
to all the world's needs.
TDF
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Wed Apr 30, 2008 7:02 pm

to all the world's needs
I am aware but ignore
sympathy devil
meh and bah are wonderful words
Travis
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Sat May 03, 2008 1:34 am

Sympathy Devil...
Sympathy FOR THE Devil!
Guys, I got a song!
TDF
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Tue May 06, 2008 5:31 pm

Guys, I got a song!
all we need is a big mouth
and some rolling stones
meh and bah are wonderful words
kozmikdave
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Wed May 07, 2008 11:43 am

and some rolling stones
in moss gathering season
leave empty handed
Lake
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Thu May 08, 2008 8:27 pm

Leave empty handed
Come back satisfied minded
Grey clouds fly away
TDF
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Thu May 08, 2008 10:09 pm

grey clouds fly away
likely return tomorrow
bloody English spring
meh and bah are wonderful words
Lake
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Thu May 08, 2008 11:39 pm

bloody English spring
cheered by an English muffin
time for barbecue
TDF
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Fri May 09, 2008 4:00 pm

time for barbecue
Charred sausages and burgers.
it's starting to rain.
meh and bah are wonderful words
Travis
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Sat May 10, 2008 6:21 am

It's starting to rain.
Why don't you go inside then?
But I like the rain...
TDF
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Sat May 10, 2008 11:58 am

But I like the rain
so cooking will persevere
burnt, wet sausage - mmmmmm
meh and bah are wonderful words
kozmikdave
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Sun May 11, 2008 10:59 am

burnt, wet sausage - mmmmmm
deck chair filling with rain - hmmmmm
damp book pages - grrrrrrrrrr
thoke
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Tue May 13, 2008 8:17 am

Damp book pages - grrrrrrrrrr
- tear easily - roooooooaaaaarr. Are
you feeling all right?!
Elphin
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Tue May 13, 2008 8:24 am

You feeling all right?
No - my heart is broke in two.
Half of me is left.
TDF
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Tue May 13, 2008 5:36 pm

Half of me is left.
though no clue where the rest is
hiding at the mo.
meh and bah are wonderful words
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wabbit
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Wed May 14, 2008 4:11 pm

Hiding at the mo
In a cupboard roofed with stairs
listening for the footsteps
Criticism - The art of judging with knowledge and propriety of the beauties and faults of a literary performance. Ha ..Well I'm definitely gonna fall short there....However rules is rules.
Milu
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Sat May 17, 2008 6:49 pm

*edited*
Last edited by Milu on Mon May 19, 2008 11:15 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"As a general rule, people, even the wicked, are much more naïve and simple hearted then we may suppose. And we ourselves are, too."
[center]~Dostoevsky[/center]
oranggunung
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Mon May 19, 2008 4:37 pm

This train appears to have become derailed.

The 5-7-5 format of the haiku is the only real rule of the train, so I’ll jump back to the last legitimate ‘carriage’, and carry on from there.

Hope that’s okay with you all.


Hiding at the mo
Alert for hunters’ footsteps
Sensing only fear
Bombadil
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Mon May 19, 2008 6:23 pm

Sensing only fear
and musky adrenaline
I tense for the strike.
I only ever had but one prayer to God, that was: "O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And he granted it.--Voltaire
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