Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
oranggunung
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Location: Dublin, Ireland

Mon May 19, 2008 7:09 pm

I tense for the strike,
hood raised; overtly intent
to share my venom.
Bombadil
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Location: The hills are my home, the mountains where I roam.
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Mon May 19, 2008 9:01 pm

to share my venom
is to know phenomenons
like Eliade's.


(good luck with that)
I only ever had but one prayer to God, that was: "O, Lord, make my enemies ridiculous." And he granted it.--Voltaire
TDF
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Location: Londinium

Wed May 21, 2008 4:36 pm

like Eliade's
study of hierophany,
I search for meaning
meh and bah are wonderful words
oranggunung
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Wed May 21, 2008 9:48 pm

I search for meaning,
teasing the fine print apart -
there are only words
kozmikdave
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Location: Brisbane, Australia

Sun May 25, 2008 10:19 am

There are only words
between the hand-worn covers -
still they make me weep.
Lake
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Location: Sky Blue Waters

Wed May 28, 2008 8:05 pm

still they make me weep-
the shocking news footage of
last dropping petals
oranggunung
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Sun Jun 01, 2008 12:56 pm

last dropping petals
crush me - marking the end of
cherry blossom days
juliadebeauvoir
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Location: East of Eden

Sun Jun 01, 2008 5:28 pm

Cherry blossom days,
Hanami feasts under gorged
boughs of pink petals.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Lake
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Location: Sky Blue Waters

Sun Jun 01, 2008 6:32 pm

boughs of pink petals –
faces at Metro Station
viewed by Ezra Pound
alexander
Posts: 11
Joined: Fri May 30, 2008 11:10 pm

Sun Jun 01, 2008 8:58 pm

Viewed by Ezra Pound,
gilded phaloi evoke
memories of dawn.
oranggunung
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Sun Jun 01, 2008 9:27 pm

memories of dawn
brighten restless, sleepless nights -
June in Alaska
juliadebeauvoir
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Tue Jun 03, 2008 5:03 am

June in Alaska,
like a bolt--comes hot and green,
melts Barrow Canyon.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
Travis
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Tue Jun 03, 2008 11:14 pm

Melts, Barrow Canyon
does under afternoon sun.
(insert something here)
Lake
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Location: Sky Blue Waters

Wed Jun 04, 2008 12:43 am

“insert something here”
says Select Samaritan
to a gorilla.
Travis
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Wed Jun 04, 2008 1:43 am

To a gorilla,
it must all be pretense and
chest beating. Sad life.
juliadebeauvoir
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Location: East of Eden

Fri Jun 06, 2008 3:29 pm

Chest beating. Sad life.
Drag cave woman by the hair.
Bad Neanderthal!
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
User avatar
Cooper
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Posts: 176
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Location: Maidenhead

Sun Jun 08, 2008 4:04 pm

Bad Neanderthal
You are lost inside the cave.
Hopeless, endless growth
thoke
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Mon Jun 09, 2008 8:46 am

Hopeless, endless growth
inspired by internet porn
makes you late for work.
juliadebeauvoir
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Location: East of Eden

Sun Jun 15, 2008 6:40 pm

Makes you late for work
because you lost your car keys.
Very bad Car-ma.
"Freedom is what you do with what's been done to you."
phasmatis
Posts: 9
Joined: Fri Jun 13, 2008 10:40 pm

Mon Jun 16, 2008 2:24 am

very bad car-ma
the engine's overheated
smoke flies into sky
Travis
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Thu Jun 19, 2008 12:49 am

Smoke flies into sky,
Jimi Hendrix comes alive,
as evergreens burn.
dangerBryan
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:23 am

Sat Jun 21, 2008 9:06 am

For an ice cold beer,
Sweet earned and just reward but
Point of no return?
dangerBryan
Posts: 7
Joined: Sat Jun 21, 2008 7:23 am

Sat Jun 21, 2008 9:23 am

Landed yesteryear,
Mistaken, silly mind laughs,
as bowling greens burn
Travis
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Mon Jun 23, 2008 10:23 pm

As evergreens burn
some Bryan guy takes the train
off the fucking tracks.

NOTE - the last line of the preceding post must be the first line of yours. It's a chain, a train, locomotion, a brand new dance now. Dig it. Bitch. A'ight? Word.

Oh yes, and welcome.
David
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Tue Jun 24, 2008 7:17 pm

As evergreens burn,
Ritchie kicks it off again -
Smoke on the Water.
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