Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Raisin
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 10:08 am

rage of flowing tides,
of scaly skin and pointed
teeth. Poor crocodile.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
oranggunung
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 1:34 pm

Teeth, poor crocodile,
they should be seen and not heard.
You must stop whistling.
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barrie
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 3:38 pm

"You must stop whistling!"
said the pan to the kettle.
"Learn the bloody words!"
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
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Raisin
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 4:42 pm

"Learn the bloody words!"
So the kettle said, "only,
if you don't burn me."
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 6:19 pm

"If you don't burn me,"
said moth to the yellow flame,
"I will fly closer."
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Raisin
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Mon Oct 27, 2008 9:36 pm

"I will fly closer".
The flame grew bright, did not burn.
It tempted instead...
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
oranggunung
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 1:36 pm

It tempted; instead
of gentle invitation,
I heard louche lechery.
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Raisin
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 2:22 pm

I heard louche lechery,
as tongues of fire lapped at wings,
the moth spiralled, scorched.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:31 pm

the moth spiraled, scorched
and blinded by an old lie;
it fell to the ground.
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barrie
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 7:36 pm

It fell to the ground
and blamed it on gravity.
There has to be blame.
After letting go of branches and walking through the ape gait, we managed to grasp what hands were really for......
Lake
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 8:33 pm

There has to be blame,
so the girl points to the boy,
adding fuel to flame.
oranggunung
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Tue Oct 28, 2008 10:25 pm

Adding fuel to flame;
lighting the blue touchpaper
of economies.
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Raisin
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Wed Oct 29, 2008 3:42 pm

Of economies.
They crumble like the paper
that holds no value.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Sat Nov 01, 2008 6:40 pm

"That holds no value,"
the clerk said to the shy boy;
"marbles aren't money."
oranggunung
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Sat Nov 01, 2008 8:21 pm

Marbles aren’t money,
but pearls may buy a flutter
of a woman’s heart.
Lake
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 4:42 am

of a woman’s heart
no one really understands -
not even herself.
Suzanne
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 8:38 am

not even herself,
she balanced carefully in
anticipation.
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Danté
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 9:42 am

anticipation
that heightened her awareness
making her face blush.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 11:57 am

making her face blush,
he watched as she fidgeted;
his mouth watering.
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Danté
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 12:04 pm

his mouth watering
he continued to ponder,
waiting for a sign.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
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Raisin
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Sun Nov 02, 2008 1:19 pm

Waiting for a sign.
He's still waiting, driving down
the M25.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
oranggunung
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Mon Nov 03, 2008 1:25 pm

The M25 -
strange to view from the heavens
this highway to hell.
Lake
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Mon Nov 03, 2008 5:11 pm

This highway to hell,
collapsed without sheer notice.
Rebuilt to heaven.
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Raisin
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Mon Nov 03, 2008 6:05 pm

Rebuilt to Heaven,
so scoundrels deserving Hell,
cooled their feet in clouds.
In the beginning there was nothing, and it exploded. (Terry Pratchett on the Big Bang Theory)
Suzanne
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Tue Nov 04, 2008 6:59 pm

cooled their feet in clouds,
before setting up their tents
and resting the night.
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