Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:29 pm

I have 6 (not five)
but of course I would never
use it as a rule!
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:30 pm

use it as a rule,
not boasting again are we?
It'll recoil now.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:35 pm

It'll recoil now
as do ladies in their shock
(this is too silly...)
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:36 pm

(this is too silly...)
agreed, but fun for a while,
goodbye amigo.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Lake
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Wed Feb 03, 2010 5:33 pm

"goodbye amigo!"
she watches boats disapear
in the horizon
Aim, then, to be aimless.
Seek neither publication, nor acclaim:
Submit without submitting.

一 Cameron
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Wed Feb 03, 2010 9:38 pm

on the horizon
a foreign land raises cliffs
I cannot ascend.
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Feb 04, 2010 2:34 pm

on the horizon
a thunderhead's expanding
his future's unknown.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Thu Feb 04, 2010 3:21 pm

his future's unknown,
he's got one hell of a past
to influence it.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:22 pm

to influence it
she had no tangible tools
only her soft voice.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Thu Feb 04, 2010 4:50 pm

only her soft voice
and contents of her pocket.
His hand is warming.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:03 pm

his hand is warming
by hers inside her mitten
mind bending wool heat.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Thu Feb 04, 2010 5:06 pm

mind bending wool heat,
her sheepish looks engaged him.
He'd found her G spot.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:07 pm

He found her G spot
in a worn textbook drawing
day dream delusions.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Thu Feb 04, 2010 7:20 pm

day dream delusions
she'd alluded to often
in her manuscript.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:08 pm

in her manuscript
his name was on every page
she adored his ass.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Thu Feb 04, 2010 9:04 pm

She adored his ass.
But ass-like he was stubborn:
"Donkey no for sale!"
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:05 pm

No donkey for sale
no fresh eggs in the baskets
stillness says she gone.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:13 pm

stillness says she's gone
but contrary movement says
that she is hidden.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:19 pm

that she is hidden
but like a sleeping candle
can be set aglow.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:29 pm

can be set aglow
lighting myriads, facets
only he will know.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:31 pm

only he will know
deep lines drawn in golden sand
tension builds in waves.
User avatar
Danté
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2022
Joined: Mon Jul 07, 2008 6:40 pm
Location: nothere

Fri Feb 05, 2010 12:36 pm

tension builds in waves
washing away boundaries
drawn in the wet sand.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Fri Feb 05, 2010 2:52 pm

drawn in the wet sand
with gravity's heavy hand
mapped out location.
dedalus
Preternatural Poster
Preternatural Poster
Posts: 1933
Joined: Sat Sep 02, 2006 3:51 am
Location: Ireland/Japan

Fri Feb 05, 2010 6:15 pm

mapped out location
never quite helped when I went
seeking paradise
Lake
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2294
Joined: Fri Jun 08, 2007 4:55 pm
Location: Sky Blue Waters

Fri Feb 05, 2010 6:24 pm

seeking paradise
or hell is all destined by
what you do in life
Aim, then, to be aimless.
Seek neither publication, nor acclaim:
Submit without submitting.

一 Cameron
Post Reply