Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:33 am

She's waiting for lines
but every day the mirror
looks back so smoothly.
Suzanne
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:46 am

looks back so smoothly
like a charming pick up line
in a well lit room.
Marc
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:49 am

In a well lit room
dinner guests moved to and fro,
but she longed to leave.
Suzanne
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 11:56 am

she longed to leave
yo-yo's better than a kite
strings of temptation.
Marc
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 1:27 pm

Strings of temptation
where he hung like a puppet.
Will he feel a jerk?
Suzanne
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 2:16 pm

Will he feel a jerk?
The hangman's tasty mistress
assured him he would.
Marc
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 3:12 pm

Assured that he would
she offered the old hobo
a hot soapy bath.
Suzanne
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Thu Feb 11, 2010 5:07 pm

a hot soapy bath
in private rooms for her Muse;
poor hobo denied.
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Danté
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Fri Feb 12, 2010 4:56 pm

poor hobo denied,
kicked well into touch. She waits
for a better deal.
to anticipate touching what is unseen seems far more interesting than seeing what the hand can not touch
Suzanne
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Fri Feb 12, 2010 5:40 pm

for a better deal
she waits and waits, waits and waits
waiting, waiting, waits.
Suzanne
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Fri Feb 12, 2010 6:47 pm

waiting waiting waits
she dreams of deep blues and greens,
something from his hand.
Suzanne
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Sat Feb 13, 2010 12:13 pm

something from his hand
an affirmation, a yes:
a bass riff began.
Suzanne
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Sun Feb 14, 2010 9:18 am

a bass riff began,
I love you's tucked in pockets
on Valentine's Day.
Marc
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Sun Feb 14, 2010 11:44 am

On Valentine's day
he returned from his journey
with empty pockets.
Suzanne
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Sun Feb 14, 2010 12:04 pm

with empty pockets
stolen jewels would fit with ease
No stones left untouched.
Marc
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Sun Feb 14, 2010 8:53 pm

No stones left untouched
as the tide licked upon them,
chasing the jewels.
Marc
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Sun Feb 14, 2010 9:03 pm

Chasing the jewels
seeking a valentines gift:
poet-cat burglar!
nar
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 10:27 am

poet-cat burglar --
stealing seven syllables
alitter-traytion.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Suzanne
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 11:06 am

alitter traytion
that nar is way too clever
on the haiku train.
Suzanne
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 3:24 pm

on the haiku train
swaying rumbling baggage held
velvet promises.
nar
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:08 pm

velvet promises,
but only silk delivers --
palpable pleasure.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Marc
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:22 pm

Palpable pleasure,,
velvety skin silky sighs,
my sweet valentine!
nar
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 4:58 pm

my sweet valentine,
smothered in chocolate sauce.
We spoon on the bed.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Marc
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 6:21 pm

We spoon on the bed
of nails. You told me you came
but you're a fakir.
Suzanne
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Mon Feb 15, 2010 8:31 pm

But you're a fakir
a simple contortionist
endure together.
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