Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
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Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:31 pm

Late to the party,
mandolins played under a
meteor shower.
Suzanne
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Sat Aug 14, 2010 12:40 pm

meteor shower,
two kids and a green blanket
caught in sudden rain.
Marc
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Sat Aug 14, 2010 1:24 pm

Caught in sudden rain
of meteors in the night.
Auspicious omen
Suzanne
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Sat Aug 14, 2010 3:04 pm

Auspicious omen
that cat on that moon hazed hill
someones name's been called.
Marc
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Sun Aug 15, 2010 9:12 am

Someone's names been called!
The man who keeps psychic cats:
Call him 'Katmandoo'.
nar
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Sun Aug 15, 2010 7:32 pm

Call him 'Katmandoo'.
What a Nepalling pun, Marc
do you nEver rest?
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 10:32 am

Do you never rest?
And is it OK too that
him'll lay her?



(Ok that's crap, shall we stop the punning now?!)
M
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 11:22 am

Him'll lay her? down?
a ridiculous reply-
she took a taxi.
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 12:07 pm

She took a taxi
when the train stopped making sense.
Alone in a cab.
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 12:14 pm

alone in a cab,
warm coat, some cash in her purse;
Independence day.
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:30 pm

Independence day.
Fireworks lit the Boston sky.
Anyone for tea?
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:37 pm

Anyone for tea?
Taking tiny toasted tarts?
jellied jungle jars?
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:40 pm

Alliterative
tea tarts, jungle jellied jars?
Don't know what they are!
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 2:43 pm

Don't know what they are?
Is knowledge in the new rules?
Him will lay her?
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:07 pm

Himalaya peaks:
high and mighty. She prefers
the warmer Andes!
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:12 pm

the warmer Andies
or the cold hearted Michaels
all were served coffee
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 3:54 pm

All were served coffee
in the bordello front room.
Their ships sailed shortly.
Suzanne
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 6:51 pm

Their ships sailed shortly
With shimmering mermaid bows
Seeking white beaches
Marc
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Mon Aug 16, 2010 7:42 pm

Seeking white beaches
the honeymoon lovers flew
southwards, dreamy eyed.
Marc
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 7:36 am

Southwards, dreamy eyed,
past antebellum mansions
swamped with desires.
Suzanne
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 12:58 pm

swamped with desires
build a bridge to elevate
be brave and do it.
Marc
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 2:19 pm

Be brave and do it!
Jump down from the moving train,
embrace new places!
Suzanne
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:06 pm

embrace new places
sheer cliffs and white mountain peaks
a Norwegian Fjord.
Marc
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:12 pm

A Norwegian fjord.
Thor swings his mighty hammer.
Thunder in the night.
Marc
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Wed Aug 18, 2010 4:46 pm

Thunder in the night
rain on an iron shelter.
Hobo sheltering.
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