Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Suzanne
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Fri Sep 23, 2011 8:49 pm

Knowing is fleeting
Hold sand in the hourglass
Acceptance tames time
nar
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Fri Sep 23, 2011 9:02 pm

Acceptance tames time
unless you're a physicist --
chair to that lion
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
RichardSanders
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Fri Sep 23, 2011 10:53 pm

chair to that lion
in our age's darkest hour
mute our greatest fears
lemonstar
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Sat Sep 24, 2011 1:53 pm

mute our greatest fears
think positive, hold your nose
and jump overboard
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
RichardSanders
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Mon Sep 26, 2011 4:41 pm

and jump overboard
to land on destiny's wave
Ride your surfboard home
lemonstar
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Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Wed Sep 28, 2011 9:11 am

Ride your surfboard home
Wax the deck in the shade and
flake off your sunburn
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Gazelle
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Joined: Sun Mar 22, 2009 12:10 pm
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Sat Oct 01, 2011 6:03 am

flake off your stubborn
it falls like dried flesh from bone
a transformation.
lemonstar
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Thu Oct 06, 2011 9:51 am

a transformation
the cutting edge of fashion
skeletal models
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
JohnLott
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Location: Devon

Thu Oct 06, 2011 1:29 pm

skeletal models
attack Cap'n Jack Sparrow
they want his botox
Before you shave with Occam’s razor - Try epilation or microlaser
lemonstar
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Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Thu Oct 06, 2011 3:35 pm

they want his botox
Damn! I hate predictive text
they wanted his boat!
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
RichardSanders
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Sat Oct 15, 2011 4:40 pm

they wanted his boat!
his Black Pearl in a bottle
with rum on their breath.
Moth
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Sun Oct 16, 2011 4:13 am

With rum on their breath,
'do' proved a futile command.
They were all done in.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
lemonstar
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Sun Oct 16, 2011 5:44 pm

They were all done in
A moral in the coral
Seven fathoms down
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Suzanne
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Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:46 pm

Seven fathoms down
Pressure'd diffuse the weight
of things I can't say.
brianedwards
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Wed Oct 19, 2011 1:58 pm

Of things I can't say:
for example: squirrels' nuts:
buried? hidden? lost?
lemonstar
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Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Wed Oct 19, 2011 2:27 pm

Buried? Hidden? Lost?
And look at the way they move!
They must be on drugs!
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Moth
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Posts: 494
Joined: Thu Oct 13, 2011 4:33 am

Fri Oct 21, 2011 1:44 pm

They must be on drugs,
not funny but laughable
parading their ills.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
Suzanne
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Fri Oct 21, 2011 2:57 pm

Parading their ills
a masquerade bandaging
above new soft skin
Suzanne
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Sat Oct 22, 2011 8:00 am

Above new soft skin
nursery powder falls in crib
No milk for cats
lemonstar
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Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Sat Oct 22, 2011 6:00 pm

No milk for cats
No life in the lithium
But I hear a voice
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
JohnLott
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Location: Devon

Sat Oct 22, 2011 9:42 pm

But I hear a voice
'no milk for cats' is too short
Move on and say 'purrrrrrrrrrrr'
Before you shave with Occam’s razor - Try epilation or microlaser
Suzanne
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Sun Oct 23, 2011 7:24 am

move on and say "purrr"
open windows, let in air
do something different
RichardSanders
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Sun Oct 23, 2011 5:31 pm

do something different
weekend work and weekday rest
live life upside down
Suzanne
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Mon Oct 24, 2011 4:31 pm

Live life upside down?
I laugh at the thought of that!
It's turned upside down.
Moth
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Mon Oct 24, 2011 9:13 pm

It's turned upside down
and the proof's in the pudding.
Too fruity by half.
to be totally honest... whenever you feel you really shouldn't write that, that's exactly what you should write.
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