Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Suzanne
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:43 pm

Tall flowers flailing
Hollyhocks tilt to the ground
She dances for rain
Marc
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 12:47 pm

She dances for rain,
but the ignorant crowd gawk.
They throw copper coins.
Suzanne
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:47 pm

They throw copper coins
into the fish pond with hope;
toss pennies and prayers
Marc
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 2:52 pm

"Toss Penny's and Prayer
Wasters!" - he abused the crowd.
"You faithful dreamers!"
Suzanne
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:30 pm

You, faithful dreamers
of fireflies and cricket songs,
blue sky dotted white.
Marc
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Wed Mar 14, 2012 4:47 pm

Blue sky dotted white.
Not birds but blitzkreig bombers,
stretching linen clouds.
lemonstar
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Thu Mar 15, 2012 12:01 am

Stretching linen clouds
laced with strontium ninety:
a white earth death shroud.
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Suzanne
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Thu Mar 15, 2012 7:19 am

A white-earth death shroud
came in the post on Monday...
What is he up to?
Marc
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Fri Mar 16, 2012 12:25 am

What is he up to?
Counting cabbages and leeks
for no clear reason.
oranggunung
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Sun Mar 18, 2012 7:04 pm

For no clear reason
the pope flew by on a broom.
Is that how God moves?
Marc
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Thu Mar 22, 2012 1:15 pm

Is that how God moves?
Starving the Disadvantaged,
while the Rich dine out?
lemonstar
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Sun Mar 25, 2012 10:05 pm

While the rich dine out
Jesus, failed Ponzi prophet,
Rakes through fast food scraps
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
lemonstar
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Sun Apr 08, 2012 9:55 pm

Rakes through fast food scraps
Marmite, Nike, Kit-Kat, Coke
I need a slogan!

// that's a better lead-in isn't it?
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Marc
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Wed Apr 11, 2012 7:49 am

"i need a slogan".
'Is that a better lead in?'
the poet inquired?
k-j
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Location: Denver, CO

Thu Apr 12, 2012 4:54 am

The poet enquired:
"Ought I spout verse, or kiss arse?":
answer came there none.
fine words butter no parsnips
Ron63
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Joined: Thu Apr 12, 2012 7:13 pm

Thu Apr 19, 2012 6:39 am

For an ice-cold beer
and a packet of crispies
you can enjoy life
oranggunung
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Mon May 28, 2012 9:21 am

You can enjoy life
by joining the vibrant world -
eschew cyberspace.
dedalus
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Location: Ireland/Japan

Sun Jun 03, 2012 1:48 am

Eschew cyberspace --
stick your heart and mind and face
in the present place
oranggunung
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Mon Jun 04, 2012 3:23 pm

In the present, place
trust in now. Make the world you’re
in a pleasant place.
RichardSanders
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Wed Jun 06, 2012 12:53 pm

in a pleasant place
the open fire crackles soft
is that your trident?
oranggunung
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Thu Jun 07, 2012 8:11 pm

Is that your Trident?
I thought you flew an Airbus.
Nice go-faster stripes!
RichardSanders
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Sat Jun 09, 2012 10:20 pm

Nice go-faster stripes!
burning brightly through the night
your highway to hell
oranggunung
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Sun Sep 16, 2012 5:10 pm

your Highway to Hell
was unplugged and it became
Stairway to Heaven
Marc
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Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:44 pm

'Stairway to Heaven'?
Not in my damn guitar shop-
Sling your cliche'd hooks!
Suzanne
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Tue Sep 25, 2012 2:26 pm

Sling your cliche'd hooks,
Paint with predictable flare
Hang a cardboard moon.
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