Haiku Train

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:29 pm

Z
Last edited by Marc on Thu Apr 07, 2016 11:03 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lemonstar
Persistent Poster
Persistent Poster
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Tue Oct 02, 2012 6:29 am

Recycle heaven
Supernovas scatter dust
'g' makes stars again
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Mon Nov 05, 2012 3:49 pm

'G' makes stars again.
Gary's X Factor hopefuls:
All glitter no heat.
pseud
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:19 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Mon Nov 05, 2012 5:18 pm

all glitter no heat
on American Idol
manufactured stars
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein
David
Moderator
Moderator
Posts: 13973
Joined: Sat Feb 18, 2006 4:40 pm
Location: Ellan Vannin

Mon Nov 05, 2012 8:13 pm

pseud, what is it like
to post both number one and
seven two two nine?
pseud
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:19 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Mon Nov 05, 2012 11:30 pm

there is no way to
describe my joy; this train
is unstoppable

seven two two nine,
eight six seven five three o ni(iiiii)ne
nine oh two one oh
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein
pseud
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 2862
Joined: Sat Mar 12, 2005 1:19 am
Location: St. Louis, MO

Fri Nov 23, 2012 8:03 am

nine oh two one oh
where did the haiku train go?
Oh shit, I've killed it!
"Don't treat your common sense like an umbrella. When you come into a room to philosophize, don't leave it outside, but bring it in with you." Wittgenstein
lemonstar
Persistent Poster
Persistent Poster
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Thu Dec 06, 2012 8:11 pm

Oh shit, I've killed it!
"You're not Jesus, you can't be!"
"He would have saved it."
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sat Dec 08, 2012 11:32 pm

he would have saved it
killed it, kept it under glass
a living fossil
Marc
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 979
Joined: Sun Sep 06, 2009 7:43 pm
antispam: no
Contact:

Fri Dec 14, 2012 3:12 pm

A living fossil.
Mental ossification
began at fifty.

After Oasis'
last LP. And latterly
ladies ignore me!
KevJ
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Birmingham

Fri Jan 04, 2013 7:21 pm

ladies ignore me!
it's the stalking they don't like,
and constant phone calls.
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sat Jan 05, 2013 9:38 pm

… and constant phone calls
well, text messages really,
craving forgiveness
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sun Jan 06, 2013 1:37 pm

craving forgiveness
house-plant bends to touch the rim
sorry it's trouble.
KevJ
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Birmingham

Sun Jan 06, 2013 3:40 pm

Sorry it's trouble
for a real Christmas tree sheds
you prefer plastic.
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sun Jan 06, 2013 8:42 pm

“You prefer plastic?”
I asked. “What about this one?”
“That’ll do nicely.”
Suzanne
Perspicacious Poster
Perspicacious Poster
Posts: 4902
Joined: Sun Oct 19, 2008 4:46 pm
antispam: no
Location: Land of the Midnight Sun

Sat Feb 16, 2013 9:53 am

That'll do nicely
Sang the skipping monkey's song
Coconut horse hooves
KevJ
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Birmingham

Fri Feb 22, 2013 6:58 pm

Coconut horse hooves?
well this is only panto.
What do you expect?
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Sat Feb 23, 2013 4:03 pm

What do you expect?
Our futures are built upon
the past imperfect.
nar
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 903
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:57 pm
antispam: no
Location: Central Scotland

Mon Feb 25, 2013 8:34 pm

The Past? I'm Perfect.
The Present? You're Imperfect.
So, The Future? Tense.
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Fri Mar 01, 2013 5:43 pm

Nice one Neil!

So, the future tense –
I wonder what it will hold?
Unconditional?
nar
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 903
Joined: Tue Feb 10, 2009 8:57 pm
antispam: no
Location: Central Scotland

Thu Mar 07, 2013 12:24 am

unconditional
as love with no string attached --
broken bow, Cupid
War does not determine who is right - only who is left. (Bertrand Russell)
KevJ
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Birmingham

Fri Mar 08, 2013 8:21 pm

Broken bow, Cupid?
all your arrows broken too
what will lovers do?
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
lemonstar
Persistent Poster
Persistent Poster
Posts: 159
Joined: Wed Jul 06, 2011 3:10 pm
Location: N.Staffs/S.Cheshire border.

Mon Mar 11, 2013 10:49 pm

What will lovers do?
Fall for black box extrinsics
Miss their white box view
The rest of you...keep banging the rocks together.
oranggunung
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 1393
Joined: Tue Apr 10, 2007 9:15 pm
Location: Dublin, Ireland

Wed Mar 13, 2013 8:03 pm

Miss, their white box view
is impeded by your horse.
Don’t you give a damn?
KevJ
Preponderant Poster
Preponderant Poster
Posts: 825
Joined: Fri May 21, 2010 9:54 pm
Location: Birmingham

Fri Mar 15, 2013 7:57 pm

Don't you give a damn?
our NHS is dying
Mister Cameron
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
Post Reply