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Down among the dead men
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 11:31 am
by Mic
Down among the dead men
Drown those sorrows, drink, drink
down among the dead men.
Dutch courage, clink, clink,
a drop, a dram, a generous drop
of double Dutch, double-entry talk,
ten shots shared in good spirits;
then a bad case of double vision.
Re: Down among the dead men
Posted: Sun Jun 14, 2009 7:42 pm
by Elphin
Because of the repitition and for me the feel of a pirates song I think for it to really work it has to have a consistent and regular format and rhythm.
elph
Re: Down among the dead men
Posted: Mon Jun 15, 2009 9:22 am
by Patrick92
I agree with the above but I love the way this poem is so onomatopoeic in the rhyming very good
Re: Down among the dead men
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 6:15 pm
by Lovely
It perfectly describes 'Man' these days, of the so-called Man of Letters or Image.
Thanks.
Old pirates song, eh? But still true yes?
.
Lx
Re: Down among the dead men
Posted: Tue Jun 16, 2009 8:49 pm
by LaMOi
You know, i love short poems.. Im reallylazy, God forgive me. But i think you should take this further, and explore the dead men dialog more... I think this down morbid tempo bar talk could have some real feet...
You ever see that film Glengarry Glen Ross?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z9mvTHSV ... re=related
The down on your luck, castrate bar philosophy; a woeful lament makes lovely poetry... no?