Poetry Forum

standing in the middle of the street at night
stars shining down on the drunken fight
battered and bloody and beaten to shit
i never wanted any part of it

but my blood was boiling
i was seeing red
the tempreatures rising and i was misled

the fists beating down with the heat of the sun
seeing my life down the barrel of a gun
i never wanted any part of it
dying for the woman with the deadly kiss

but my blood was boiling
i was seeing red
the tempreatures rising and i was misled
the stars shine down on the darkened street
the blood runs dry underneath my feet

one question lying at the back of my mind
looking for the answer, the one i cant find
look in to her eyes an her blood red lips
dying for the woman with the deadly kiss

few cliches but its more a song than a poem

Hello friend.

S5 L3, perhaps is a clitch.

Should it have read, maybe:- Looking 'into' her eyes 'and' her blood red lips.

I thought it was a nice song would try and put it to music perhaps. A five chord score with two minors and three majors. A sort of
rolling stone "Angie" melody. All the famous melodies are in five chords more or less.

Thanks

Lx

already got music for it, d and f in the verses and c/f and Am in the chorus

Why not post it in the song section complete with music - its quiet over there, could do with some new stuff

elph

Please let me see her then? I thought the words are great would so dearly dearly
love to hear this in music.

A good friend of mine makes a fantastic living out of it. Really.

I think it should be in the (key) of A/minor showing love and sympathy.

Lx

I got that feeling you wrote this poem in a rage after being used and mislead by a woman on a one night stand, or perhaps it's just me reading it wrong.
I've been married for 30 years and I'm still alive! Whats that telling you? My wife aint got a deadly kiss! LOL

yeah completely wrong lol it was just one of those songs that came out in 5 minutes and i think its good lol

although i used to be a glass collector so its kinda to do with 'those days' i think.

Hi Didi,
You did a fine job here. Add some music. I can hear a guitar strumming!