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The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 8:06 pm
by peterkiggin
The Clothes of a Beggar
A beggar on the street,
cold face unshaven once was someone you were glad to meet.
His eyes tell the story of disillusionment and deceit,
the ragged clothes just make him complete.
Asleep he is just like us,
a dream away from happiness,
a drink away from forgetfulness,
a phone call away from loneliness.
A beggar on the street,
the clothes he wears just make him complete.
The clothes of a Beggar.
Re: The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Wed Jun 17, 2009 11:00 pm
by the stranger
Hey peter(you must be)kiggin
You show all the empathy of a Daily Mail reader!
This beggars belief!
"cold face unshaven once was someone you were glad to meet."
Why not now? Personally I love the old homeless, smelly fuckers, but great in the face of adversity...
You ain't got a clue...
Love TS
Re: The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Thu Jun 18, 2009 8:22 am
by Lovely
There go I for the grace of God, eh?
I to feel the way the Stranger does. If only we could show more compassion now before
it's to late. Give a little lovin' ......
A very nice write, PK.
L
Re: The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Sat Jun 20, 2009 9:49 am
by westonalan
Simple, short, i liked it very much. But this line "a phone call away from loneliness." doesn't seem to fit in with the context of a homeless beggar as I would have thought a beggar would already be lonely. I would have probably written "a phone call away from civilization."
I'm no expert on grammar and meaning, but it's just the way I read it!
Re: The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Tue Jun 23, 2009 6:19 pm
by Lovely
Forever go the grace of god simply ever I always.
xx
Re: The clothes of a Beggar.(re - edited)
Posted: Thu Jun 25, 2009 2:17 pm
by gpierre
the stranger wrote:Hey peter(you must be)kiggin
You show all the empathy of a Daily Mail reader!
This beggars belief!
"cold face unshaven once was someone you were glad to meet."
Why not now? Personally I love the old homeless, smelly fuckers, but great in the face of adversity...
You ain't got a clue...
Love TS
Is this not the beginners forum? Chill, Winston.
I entirely emphasised with the idea of the poem but maybe, yes, it could do with a little work to pin down its point-of-view.
I don't know you Stranger but maybe, in future, constructively criticise newbs instead of tearing them apart, it's comments like that which stop people from ever writing or posting again, isn't it?