Poetry Forum

The wind blows midnight aside.

I know you're awake -
I'm awoken inside.
Stirred and aroused
and drifting around.

Though many miles apart,
here together
in the dark
we're forging anew.

The wind bellows,
I stoke the fire.
We're closer now
than we've ever been.

I like the opening lines, with the idea that two people, miles apart, wake at the same time. I'm not too sure about "drifting around" though, it makes you sound rather disembodied! It's also not clear whether you are actually drifting around, or your thoughts are.
The middle stanza works, in that it metaphorically links the pair of you, with

here together
in the dark
we're forging anew.

The simplicity of the last three lines works really well to close this poem; the stoking of the fire could represent so much more, (I don't know whether you conciously intended this or not? Either way, it's a great analogy!) and

We're closer now
than we've ever been.

closes this poem with a beautifully poignant observation.
Great!

Generally I find such "midnight SMS" pretty disturbing! Maybe JUST me! Sincerely hope so. Bless the people who lose their sleep typing messages. As for the poem - enjoyable.

Story of my heart.

I can understand this... it's very touching and ever loving.

...................................................................

'I will sleep alone and out in the cold? Story of my heart.

Still knocking doors....where the ink hasn't dried/

I am sick and warm/but now in cold/...........

hope you didn't mind/for loving you so/

sunshine always comes from being you/
the lonely soul so really..............




Loved your poem

Lx

Thanks for the comments. I was trying desperately here to be straightforward and understandable. I think I got there...

Aru, I guess you pirates prefer the old message in a bottle sos.