Kolkata snapshots - II

[arunansu]

( Tanka poems)

I.

stray pups
enjoy their siesta
under a shade
rag-pickers collect
plastic flowers from garbage


II.

burgundy sky -
hollering slogans
a human train proceeds
taxi-driver sips his tea
trapped in traffic jam


III.

reflections
of cable-stayed bridge
on river water
two country boats
continue to whisper

[jms]

Hi,

Good stuff as always! The first is by far my favourite - it flows a little better to my ear than the other two. If I had to make any suggestions... 'pick' rather than recover in I L3, and a 'the' before 'garbage' on the next line.

Cheers,

Jon

[arunansu]

Thanks Jon. I have edited.

[Lovely]

'Plastic flowers from garbage cans' for S1 L4? Just a thought.

Would also like to see a littlle ditty here and there for the Emerald.

Enjoyed again, Aru. What a poet coming forth to day.

l

[Helen Bywater]

Hi Arunansu,

I'm really enjoying these snapshots of yours. I like all three of these. It's so interesting to see these Japanese forms transported to different locations. I've experimented with haiku and senryu myself, but I didn't know about tanka. Thanks for introducing me to them - I've just been reading about them on Wikipedia.

Helen