Trapped in thought

[Mic]

I stand heavily in the
wilderness of this thought
while weary hours ache in passing
while weary days pool at my clodden feet.
I search for the edge or a gap in this thought
but the closer I look the harder it is to see.
small breaths, half the size of a full-stop
small breaths, half the size of a full-
stop, small breaths, half the size
of a full-stop, small breaths
half the size of a full-
stop

breathe.
breathe again.

[Terreson]

While I am not a big fan of spatials and concrete poems this hour glass thing works for me. You bet thought is trapped in the glasses upper chamber. And it comes through how chant works a thought through the tapering. This thing is kind of cool!

Terreson

[arunansu]

Cool one, Mic. Enjoyed the repetition of "small breaths, half the size of full stops".

[markferbrache]

i really like this. at the moment i can't really see anything i'd do with this, although i've just finished work after getting up early in the morning, so after a nap maybe i'll see more clearly, still a morning zombie.

the only thing that i would say you could do is to extend it a little, or to re-jig it to get it to be more of an hour glass shape if that's what you were aiming for. maybe leave a gap and have a long-ish line that redefines that shape?

[David]

I like this, the second half - that repetition - especially. Not sure about "clodden", though - what's that?

Cheers

David

[Lovely]

splendid piece of art in words very thoughtful this and nicely done.

Thanks