Thank you for this my springtime,
the return of all my swallows,
my frozen stream's breaking.
Thank you for this new pain,
waking again my dead life,
my winter world's ending.
Thank you for being as you are,
should ever winter return,
a spring day for remembering.
Thank You.
Hi Petronious.
Gratitude for a re-awakening so very gracefully expressed, without being gushy - much dignity and music in this.
The title worked - piqued my interest immediately: I was curious to know what the thanks were going to be given for.
The structure supports your content. There is a power in the threes, three 'thank yous', three three-line stanzas. The 'ing' endings of the final words of the final line of each stanza both helps knit the poem together and creates a lovely music. The poem sings.
Mic, thanking you, three times at the very least.
Gratitude for a re-awakening so very gracefully expressed, without being gushy - much dignity and music in this.
The title worked - piqued my interest immediately: I was curious to know what the thanks were going to be given for.
The structure supports your content. There is a power in the threes, three 'thank yous', three three-line stanzas. The 'ing' endings of the final words of the final line of each stanza both helps knit the poem together and creates a lovely music. The poem sings.
Mic, thanking you, three times at the very least.
"Do not feel lonely, the entire universe is inside you" - Rumi
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liked your thank you poem, gave me a lovely spring feeling x
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I envy your natrual talent. Nuff said. Thanks.
- twoleftfeet
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I really like this, especially the idea that it all belongs to you.
My one quibblette is
"wakening again my dead life"
IMHO this would be better as
"reawakening my dead life"
GeoffI
My one quibblette is
"wakening again my dead life"
IMHO this would be better as
"reawakening my dead life"
GeoffI
Instead of just sitting on the fence - why not stand in the middle of the road?