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Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Fri Jan 01, 2010 6:24 am
by arunansu
[ Tanka ]
she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
her silence
her decade-old smile
warms me up
the morning coffee
fills a ten year void
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:10 am
by Lake
aru,
Such a minimalist style. There's turbulance in this quiet poem as well as ambiguity.
she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
her silence
her decade-old smile
warms me up
the morning coffee
fills a ten year void
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
Yes, images in tanka are infused with implication, suggestion and nuance. And you are doing very well, aru.
Lake
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 2:28 am
by Lovely
Aru, out of hospital...did not have sub-dural damage:
Understand me please, feelings are so deep in you Aru, I have
been warmed so much in your art of poetry
best
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 1:20 pm
by arunansu
Thank you Lake.
Why did she grow quiet? Attracted by the poem? Or tired of listening to it?
- To me it may be the latter, but to some other reader it could be the former too.
It reads to me "her smile" warms me up, but then "the morning coffee/fills a ten year void" means she's absent for ten years?
- May be so, or may be that her absence seems as long as ten whole years! Thank you Lake.
Lovely,
Its a nice news that you are recovering well. Can't thank you enough that you're replying to my posts even being in such a bad health. Take a bow!
Smiles.
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Wed Jan 06, 2010 4:54 pm
by anniecat
Very good, i am getting the flow more and more, Lovely is so right about you.AC
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 3:02 pm
by arunansu
Anniecat, Thanks for your post. I'm trying to 'write' Tanka, smiles.
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Thu Jan 07, 2010 4:23 pm
by zootsuitmod
"she grew quiet
as I recited
the poem
that took a lifetime
to sprout"
You managed to conjure in my mind a complete life story in 5 lines
I see it as an affirmation of love from one person towards another after a long period together, and perhaps the realisation from the one who grows quiet about the true feelings of the other.
Nice write, thanks.
Re: Feelings on Jan 1
Posted: Sat Jan 09, 2010 7:26 am
by arunansu
Thank you, Zoot, for your reply and time. Smiles.