Poetry Forum

Who am i?
Am i you?
A face,
mind, hiding.

Who are you?
Am i you?
Us, masquerading,
false, image.

A masked imposter
inside a body,
yours, mine.
Ours, pretending.

You are me,
i am you,
entwined,
or cloned?


Two
not one,
us, thinking
we.

Problems shared
and felt as one,
us,
not one.

Complete
together,
forever
amalgamating.

Are you wondering in front of the mirror again, Annie? This got pretty confusing for me, but actually that's good, given the subject matter. If I've got the subject matter right, that is.

Cheers

David

Thanks for reading it, yes you got it right but the original was about coupling, ie: being wed and how two people become one, joined at the hip, as they say, two peas in a pod/merging, then as you say, think of a mirror image and yes there is another side to it (twin personality) everyone has another side, most often hid from the nearest and dearest and out of the real world.
Be open people face your demons. AC

A very interesting poem. To me this write is great until the line 'in wedding vows' in the fourth stanza. Up until that point, you really drew me in. I thought it was edgy and slightly creepy, perhaps about a person struggling to find out 'who they really are', or, even something more sinister, like a split personality at work.

To me, the poem, which is really good, would be so much better if you removed that line. The title is great, and I see where you're coming from, I've 'amalgamated' with my husband - such a brilliant way of describing the emotional union of the joined at the hip gang!

Thanks for sharing, I enjoyed the read.
firefly

Thank you for your time Firefly how about "in tied vows"
Glad you liked it.AC

I won't touch this work of yours.


I found the imagination here striking at once. You have talent.


If I get some time now I will almalgamate wth you a bit more.

Like so many great people here---------one feels humbled for the honour to
read her.............."You are me, I am You"

Thankyou Lovely you lovely person, i'm so glad you liked it. AC

Dear Anniecat,

Fascinating poem. But I agree with Firefly re the "wedding vows" line. Smiles.
Nothing to add. Loved it.

Thanks dear arunansu, how about in tied vows

Yeah, that's a better, much better alternative. Smiles.

Thanks, it is done

hello Annicat

I too enjoyed the structure and the reading down of your piece..it flows well to my mind..yet personally I would take all mention of it being a marriage or vow of any kind out as this would offer more scope of imagination to the reader..only a personal view mind, sometimes I do enjoy a bit of ambiguity in writes lol..but good stuff indeed.

thanks
mes

hello Annicat

I too enjoyed the structure and the reading down of your piece..it flows well to my mind..yet personally I would take all mention of it being a marriage or vow of any kind out as this would offer more scope of imagination to the reader..only a personal view mind, sometimes I do enjoy a bit of ambiguity in writes lol..but good stuff indeed.

thanks
mes

Hmm thanks Mesmie, yes i can see what you mean, i will look into it AC

Hello anniecat, I still love this poem, but I agree with mesmie about removing the links to marriage in it. To me, it just takes the edge off of an edgy piece of writing.

Until the marriage reference, this had my imagination working over-time, and I particularly enjoy that kind of write.

Just my opinion, either way, it's a great poem!!

Thanks a lot
firefly

Thanks Firefly, i think you might like it now