Kolkata-songs (Cherita sequence)

[arunansu]

**
three kids spend an afternoon

with one football
in a deserted by-lane

din and bustle
of the main road
fades out, gradually

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

a gaunt vendor grumbles

a stack of hats on his head
- the top one falls off

in unmindful breeze
two urchins fight bitterly
over the prized catch

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

street children look heavenward

greet the showers
arms open wide

smell of clouds
fills their day, gifts them
the crumbs of sky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

[anniecat]

I don't know what one i liked the best, mabe one and two realy nice images, yet skys crumbs is nice but i don't like acid cloud smells, all the images, from the hat seller to children with raised arms catching the rain are so different to the English images i get, loved the visit AC

[anniecat]

I don't know what one i liked the best, mabe one and two realy nice images, yet skys crumbs is nice but i don't like acid cloud smells, all the images, from the hat seller to children with raised arms catching the rain and the by-lane with its din and noise are so different to the English images i get, loved the visit AC

[arunansu]

Thank you Anniecat for visiting here. I have made some minor tweaks, removed the word "acid". Thanks.

[anniecat]

That is a much sweeter setting, thanks AC

[arunansu]

Thanks, there has been one further change, I've reverted back to my original version in #2. Thanks for visiting again, Anniecat.

[anniecat]

The gaunt vendor, i can see him well

[arunansu]

Thanks Anniecat, had to change yet again! Actually in Cherita the first line always "sets the tone" for the rest. So they got to be very carefully chosen. Thanks.

[anniecat]

Wish i was there...great images, make lovely sketches or paintings.AC
a gaunt vendor grumbles

a stack of hats on his head
- the top one falls off

in unmindful breeze
two urchins fight bitterly
over the prized catch
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~yes that is nice, a grumbling old worn out man, billowing hat in the breeze, two ragged kids

street children look heavenward

greet the showers
arms open wide

smell of clouds
fills their day, gifts them
the crumbs of sky

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~blue skies, sun, soft clouds with grey/pink hue's and cool rain leaving behind a fresh earthy sweet sent, hmm dreamy

[firefly]

Hello arunansu, great work here again. I think I like cherita 2 best, although they are all lovely. You set the scene for each little story so well, very atmospheric and endearing. Like anniecat, I wish I was there!

My favorite line is 'in unmindful breeze', just lovely

Enjoyed the read, thankyou,
firefly

[arunansu]

Thank you Anniecat and Firefly for being here and replying. Smiles.