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yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 4:00 am
by arunansu
**
copper pods shine
on gulmohar tree
i open a casket
count the wish-embryos
one gone missing
**
you recline
by the window
curtains drawn aside
lazy evening breeze
brings freed yellow petals
[ Based on the "yellow gulmohar tree" or the "yellow flame tree" or the "copper pod tree" as it is widely known. ]
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:04 pm
by anniecat
Freed yellow petals from the embryo holding pod, a nice wish...this is lovley and i can not crit your work as i have no nits with it
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Wed Jan 27, 2010 3:25 pm
by arunansu
Thank you Anniecat for your thoughts on this one.
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 3:39 am
by firefly
I agree with anniecat, this is lovely. You have created atmosphere here with your imagery.Clever, I think, in so few words.
I enjoyed the scene you created in this poem, and, like anniecat, I have no 'nits' with it!
Thanks for sharing,
firefly
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:25 am
by arunansu
Thank you Firefly, for being here and replying.
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 7:30 pm
by mesmie
hello aru
a wish embryo is a lovely idea!
I have googled your tree and a wonderful sight it is too!
Please forgive this thicko, but is the casket, wine? I am afraid I got a little lost there.
But I do enjoy your words Aru
mes x
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Tue Feb 02, 2010 10:21 pm
by Lovely
Nice mes. You express.
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Wed Feb 03, 2010 4:57 am
by arunansu
Thank you Mesmie, according to the dictionary, a casket is generally "A small case or chest, as for jewels and other valuables". Smiles.
Thanks Lovely for being here.
Re: yellow flower carpet (Tanka)
Posted: Thu Feb 04, 2010 8:03 pm
by mesmie
ahhh I see Aru I buy my wine in boxes!!
mes x