Poetry Forum

It's cold out here maybe you know.

Petrified, mortified, hold you head high
gorgeous,
there are people that would kill to see you fall.

Left outside alone. I am cold out here.

I ever wonder if you know to be left outside alone here


Maybe you know how it feels out here


Dave

This has a starkness, Dave. Come inside where it's warm.

Ros

Thankyou Ros. I am a bit crazy here. Love you. x

Lovely,
you are not alone. I will gladly wrap my arms round you and warm through.
Hold your head high gorgeous

Oh dear. This is a desolate little poem. Don't feel like that, L. In the immortal words of Cilla Black (well, Paul McCartney really), Step Inside Love.

Cheers

David

(I see I've only paraphrased Ros and - ahem - "amberleaf". Never mind! I agree with them.)

Lovely, glad to see you posting, this seems very Anastacia in its content.

I couldn't help making the comparison as I have an annoying gift of almost total recall of every song lyric I've heard since childhood
which in other respects is why I avoid reading published poetry in case my own lines leech off any of that material.

Now you've dipped your toes back into the heated pool, the plunge should be easy....

all the best

Danté

You are right. She hurts so much. Hurts. Huurts me, it takes me away


I cannot spell. I so love you All.

Left ouside alone.........................

Left alone

How it feels............sorry I wonder if you know.

I will write for you guys now.

lots of good vibes coming your way Lovely..xx

Hi Dave - this certainly has blue notes in its music, nice work - but I can’t help thinking it would be stronger if you tightened its punctuation and corrected the typos – e.g. –

Petrified, mortified, hold your head high

Cheers
peter

i am so sorry. I can't write no more. Sorry. Still ever wonder if you know. I wonder if you know. Please me. keep strong you all. You sent from above for me. Thankyou..still I wonder if you know to save me.

I wonder if you know.

I am in a crazy mood.

I wonder if you know, Dante. I do love her, Dante. Please how it feels.


I will write for you now.She sings well Dante.

I wonder if you know. Please. I wonder if you know for me.

I am so ever confused you.

You can never know a feeling, Dave, but I'm sure there are good many who can relate to the feelings of loneliness and fear in your poem. It's good to get such emotions down on paper and then just let them go, I reckon. You get hungry if you stay outside for too long. In fact, I'm hungry having read it - might be time for a Big Mac!

Love,

Stephen

I guess you know


Dave

Will write for you don't worry. Please .

Left outside alone. I am cold out here.

I ever wonder if you know to be left outside alone here

- These lines are killers. Dave, take a bow!