Minutiae

[contains deet]

Odd then, that you choose God’s birthday
to shrink our lives into boxes and bags.
I could have sworn on the table, that you
said that I said, that love was an ant, and

If I did then surely it goes that I should follow
you, pheromonely so. Alas, I have no recollection
of such tender antennae treatment. All I recall
Is no scent of you, women’s stuff, gone…

[Lovely]

It is a lovely touch watch your lines though.

I rush my words.

Dave

[calico]

I like this a lot. It is very much like it is written by an ant, everything shrunken and perceived by pheremones and different senses.
It is on the right side of cryptic minimalism and it's very complete, and original.....it's got conviction. I like it.

[arunansu]

Beautiful stuff, even being a "minutiae"! Loved every moment of it. Wonder why there are so few replies to this one!

Be pleased with the write.

[contains deet]

I thank you.

CD

[Pauline]

I agree with Aru and Calico.
Great stuff.
You just plough straight in there, say it how it is
with just the right amount of sarcasm (My favourite form of humour).
Favourite lines are;

Odd then, that you choose God’s birthday
to shrink our lives into boxes and bags.

Alas, I have no recollection
of such tender antennae treatment.
All I recall is no scent of you,

Really enjoyed this CD.
Cheers.

[contains deet]

Thanks Pauline,

Appreciated.

[nar]

Hey, CD.

I could have sworn on the table

nice line, good line, clever line

that you
said that I said, that love was an ant, and

If I did then surely it goes that

hmm - I understand prhps, but I'm kinda that'ed out by the end of it.

Overall, nice read, with a decent ending.

- Neil

[contains deet]

Yeh, perhaps you're right Nar.

I was just going for the continuation repetitive annoying thing, hey it worked!

thanks
CD

[John G]

Hello Deet,

Really enjoyed this, really appealed to me even though not sure that I am 100% sure of whats going on, but this is what appeals to me about this piece. But the possible subject of ant love is interesting however I thinks it will take a while until society gets around to accepting ant porn.

Especially enjoyed the following:

that you choose God’s birthday
to shrink our lives into boxes and bags.

[calico]

Umm just a return visit to say the annoying that's are a good bit of annoying repetition. It's what ants would say. Not that I think it's an ant poem but you can certainly push that conceit as far as you have done, to perfection in my opinion.