Poetry Forum

That was intwesting, Teddy!

You know how I
went for a wee?
Well,

you didn't see,but

mummy and daddy
were rolling
all over
without their
pajamas and
eating bananas!

Well,

only one
poked
from under
the covers;

so where was my mother's?
Daddy says
share stuff with others...

Teddy; I'm not
myself,look
at me-

I only went for a wee.

- Couldn't stop.

Great title.

J.

Wey hey! Cheers, John! If my poem made you laugh then my work here is truly done, ha ha!

Brilliant, that made my day

tf

Hey!

just be aware that I'm paranoid - there is a counterpoint conspiracy - so what I like or don't, tends to carry the contra-kiss.



J.

JohnLott wrote:Hey!

just be aware that I'm paranoid

True, apparently.

JohnLott wrote:- and there is a counterpoint conspiracy

Not true.

A different look into the light and darkness of life here. I liked the honest approach here
and the giving of yours thoughts: it's heavy.


"so where was is my mother's daddy said
share thoughts with others and stay in bed.............
all of life the endless sceme to prevent our dreams
non zeaolot non anything "we are but dreams" Byron to drowning,
Keats consumption is a drowning. Can't feel my feet anymore.
"Byron, then this is the score". Suck up your lungs then fling
them wild you are an eternal child

You have a feel

Pleasure




My mother said.What? My Ma Ma said! It's good to be fruitful

John... I think David just complemented both of us there

Thanks, David

Thanks, Lovely! But , that's just not how it went down,man...

tf

terriblefish wrote:Thanks, Lovely! But , that's just not how it went down,man...

Oh, so mummy swallows? Bet daddy is pleased.

Fun little poem this... thanks for the chuckle.

Tom

I try

And in answer to your rather unrhetorical rhetorical with a further rhetorical in hypothetical : would we really stick around long enough to find out the answer to that,really??

tf

Quite funny,

I appreciate that the the theme is deliberately low-brow and it's nicely handled. Only two points:

1. Either our young lad has a speech impediment (Intwesting) or he doesn't (rolling)
2. The close- "I'm not / myself,look / at me-" doesn't quite fit in with the innocence of what goes before.

Can someone please explain what a counter-point conspiracy/ contra-kiss is?

RP.

Yep.
Made me smile too.
Great fun.
Can't beat a bit of light relief.

Pauline.

R P Jackson wrote: Can someone please explain what a counter-point conspiracy/ contra-kiss is?
RP.

no need to .....David said it isn't so it isn't.

That's good.

I love being paranoid though - that means I'm never disappointed. (There is meaning in everything - it's just a question of finding it)



J.

Of course, just because you're paranoid, it doesn't mean they're not trying to get you.

The trick is in defining "they".

Disappointing poem, though, tf, particularly as I quite liked your last one, paradigm or no paradigm. Never mind, it's obviously tickled some palates.

Cheers

David

Well it tickled mine,
and as far as I'm concerned life's too fecking short not to grab the smiles.
Cheers TF.

Thanks so much to everyone! Wow,so much feedback!
RP, you raise an excellent point, and though my ego wants me to blag the omission of the speech impediment as a transition of innocence or impending clarity, I am not going to as it would be completely dishonest - you've got me. Not sure what to do, if anything with that at the moment! You blew my mind though RP, thanks

Pauline, I am delighted you found this funny as that was my aim! I work nights and have been on duty for several now, and sleep deprivation does do strange things to the mind! Ironically when that mind is trying to shut down for sleep ha ha! I found myself out of bed , scrabbling for a pencil, and five minutes or so later I had this first draft! Sometimes toiling for days over a line seems so silly...but hey. That's the very nature of our work.

So close,yet still so far, eh, David glad you enjoyed 'The Better Half' more than you did this one! The arguable ambiguity of your first comment, which I now realise was not an allusion to the poem, was sadly misconstrued on my part
Hopefully the impending work will strike a higher chord.
Thanks all for taking the time to contribute! Your feedback is so helpful to me.

tf

terriblefish wrote:So close,yet still so far, eh, David glad you enjoyed 'The Better Half' more than you did this one! The arguable ambiguity of your first comment, which I now realise was not an allusion to the poem, was sadly misconstrued on my part

No worries, tf, but you're quite right. I was just teasing John about his paranoia. Not alluding to the poem at all.

Cheers

David