Cröwsong

[nar]

The crows were
not crooners. They
crammed the air
with their
Vulcan thrash metal,
all sinew, bone
soft black robes:
raving, circling beats
of stiffened rubber
and iron fletched
wings of bats
out of hell
and all that.

Ambivalent baby
said "tweet".


- Neil

[Cooper]

This is cool. Got a beat vibe goin' on here.. liked very much.. is 'Tweet' at the end some ironic take on twitter and all that? Ambivalent baby..Excellent piece.

[Suzanne]

This made me smile. Innocence and open minded to the crow. Greedy things.
I watch crows hope around on stiff legs somehow seeming like they are entitled to something.

Nice simple poem.
Thanks for the read.

Suzanne

[JohnLott]

I hear a rock group here.

But why the umlaut in the title?



J.

[nar]

Cooper, Suz, John.

Thanks for reading. This is my first outing in a while, and I still feel rather rusty

@ John: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_umlaut

Cheers,

- Neil

[ray miller]

I thought you were maybe referring to a band called Stone The Crows, who were perhaps a while before your time but from your part of the world.Not sure about "soft black robes" and I'd have thought that chick was more apt than baby.

[JohnLott]

That's subtle Neil!



J.

[Danté]

I enjoyed this Niel, I did wonder if cloaks might have a better tone than robes in this instance, good to read you again.

all the best

Danté

[Nicky B]

Hey Nar,

Good to see you around again. I normally really enjoy your stuff but to be honest did struggle a little with this one. Perhaps it was the line breaks? This structure made it a little disjointed for me. But I did liked the raving circling beats, and could feel that, and the sinew, I could see that, so some of it did hit!

Thanks,

Nicky

[nar]

Ray, Tim, Nicky.

Thanks for the comments. My first attempt at writing after a break is usually fairly poor, and this is no exception.

As ever - it made perfect sense at the time, but now seems rather dull and vague.

Cheers again for trying!

Kindest,

- Neil.