Poetry Forum

The crows were
not crooners. They
crammed the air
with their
Vulcan thrash metal,
all sinew, bone
soft black robes:
raving, circling beats
of stiffened rubber
and iron fletched
wings of bats
out of hell
and all that.

Ambivalent baby
said "tweet".


- Neil

This is cool. Got a beat vibe goin' on here.. liked very much.. is 'Tweet' at the end some ironic take on twitter and all that? Ambivalent baby..Excellent piece.

This made me smile. Innocence and open minded to the crow. Greedy things.
I watch crows hope around on stiff legs somehow seeming like they are entitled to something.

Nice simple poem.
Thanks for the read.

Suzanne

I hear a rock group here.

But why the umlaut in the title?



J.

Cooper, Suz, John.

Thanks for reading. This is my first outing in a while, and I still feel rather rusty

@ John: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Metal_umlaut

Cheers,

- Neil

I thought you were maybe referring to a band called Stone The Crows, who were perhaps a while before your time but from your part of the world.Not sure about "soft black robes" and I'd have thought that chick was more apt than baby.

That's subtle Neil!



J.

I enjoyed this Niel, I did wonder if cloaks might have a better tone than robes in this instance, good to read you again.

all the best

Danté

Hey Nar,

Good to see you around again. I normally really enjoy your stuff but to be honest did struggle a little with this one. Perhaps it was the line breaks? This structure made it a little disjointed for me. But I did liked the raving circling beats, and could feel that, and the sinew, I could see that, so some of it did hit!

Thanks,

Nicky

Ray, Tim, Nicky.

Thanks for the comments. My first attempt at writing after a break is usually fairly poor, and this is no exception.

As ever - it made perfect sense at the time, but now seems rather dull and vague.

Cheers again for trying!

Kindest,

- Neil.