Poetry Forum

The mast snapped like a knitting needle.
The waves cups of libations poured trespass over the deck,

faster than the pace of a mule. The tarpaulin sails nothing but
freed aprons upon a cloths line battered by the wind.

The mind complex, a diverse lattice, sits inside,on the bad manners.
But naivety of thought has many tributaries swelling the sea mind.

Tied my-self to the boats railing like mountain climbers do,
and with fragility and rudeness drift.

At the Muammar Gaddafi end of my underpants
a strain a spoliarum sat but i ;m not uncomfortable sitting in my own evictions

Not sure I can get my head around this as yet. There are two or three lines which strike me as good.

The mast snapped like a knitting needle.

The tarpaulin sails nothing but freed aprons upon a cloths line (clothes line?)

naivety of thought has many tributaries swelling the sea mind

Hi Gavin,

I like:
"freed aprons upon a cloths line battered by the wind"
"The mind complex, a diverse lattice, sits inside,on the bad manners."

I don't like:
"The waves cups of libations poured trespass over the deck, "
and "faster than the pace of a mule."

I had to read it several times to get the full import.
I don't get the line breaks.
I think it has some good parts but needs a bit more story.

Hope it helps.

Kindest
Richard.

I'm thinking a knitting needle would bend rather than snap, but that's a small point and congratulations are always in order to a poet sporting half a pair of a dead dictator's underpants. Coincidentally, about 3 years ago I won Nicolae Ceaușescu's nail scissors at a celebrity despot memorabilia auction.