Feast of Fools

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Nicky B
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Fri Dec 09, 2011 7:21 pm

We sat on the step in the moonlight:
toe to toe, hip to hip, thumb to thumb.
It was some Christmas or other
echos of Silent Night and Come

All Ye Faithful cloaked in pine scent
and the inevitable ginger wine
and the mistletoe where your lips
lingered impolitely on mine.

Our spouses danced on in the lamplight,
unaware of the moonlit air.
Remember that Christmas or other?
A partridge nestling by a pear.

We lodged ourselves in a lonely place
beyond the Christmas crush
to discuss, sotto voce, four
gold rings and a bird in a bush.

By David and Nicky B.
Hurrah Hurrah we did it!! Thank you David!!
k-j
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Fri Dec 09, 2011 8:57 pm

Adorable!
fine words butter no parsnips
Ros
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Fri Dec 09, 2011 9:11 pm

Very nice indeed. Well done.

Ros
Rosencrantz: What are you playing at? Guildenstern: Words. Words. They're all we have to go on.
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Nash

Mon Dec 12, 2011 12:43 am

Very, very good, you saucy pair of rapscallions you.
David
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Wed Dec 14, 2011 5:40 pm

This was fun. Nicky was an excellent collaboratrix, continually nudging me away from the tranquil waters of complacency into the more interesting offshore currents.
Suzanne
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Wed Dec 14, 2011 7:45 pm

Oh what fun! You two did a splendid job. It is smooth and polished. Good story.
I enjoyed this very much and can tell that you two got on, it is neither of you and both of you.

Thanks for the read, enjoyed.
Suzanne
Nicky B
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Sun Jan 01, 2012 10:29 pm

Thanks all!

Suzanne, I loved that you could see neither of us and both of us - it was very much a equal collaboration and David was a great and very patient partner.

Nash, rapscallions is a fabulous word, always happy to be a rapscallion!!

It was a surprisingly enjoyable experience - huge thanks David and many many thanks to KJ for organising us. A shame so few poems posted in the end, but definitely well worth doing.

Nicky B.
BenJohnson
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Tue Jan 03, 2012 8:47 am

Quite seamless, I've tried to work out which bits were David and which were Nicky and ended up giving up and just enjoying it as a whole piece, great job both of you.
David
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Sat Jan 07, 2012 12:02 pm

Thanks Ben. I thought Nicki and I were the Sonny and Cher of PG until I read the collaboration of Brian and Suzanne, but I may still be right. I think they're more like Tammy Wynette and George Jones.
anaisnais
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 6:06 am

Smiles - what fun you two must have enjoyed the heck out of writing this! Great collaboration, well done both!
David
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Sun Jan 08, 2012 11:29 am

Thanks, anaisnais. It was a fun project.

Cheers

David
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