Poetry Forum

Who Am I? Ammmm…. ‘Good Question’.

I was born on a day to die one day

But I find myself Dying each day, to born another day.


So, Who Am I?? Ammmmmmmm…. ‘Good Question’.

I went to college, as they said, ‘College is systematic, system to bring me into system’.

I found, it not to be a system, but just a part of system.

However, I learnt, No Knowledge (life), without College.


So, Who Am I? Ammmmmmmmmm…… ‘Good Question’.

I could have been a poet

Poet I still am,

Whenever I get a chance to overlook the Excellent (Excel) Grids

And Peek out of window by my desk, during interplay of Sunlight

The poet in me gets a light within,

Scribe some line on the horizon of consciousness,


So, Who Am I? Ammmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm….. ‘Good Question’.

Who are you indeed? Perhaps you'd like to say hello on the introductions board. Then take a look at the site Rules and offer up a couple of comments on other people's work. After that I'm sure you'll get plenty of responses to this, your first offering.

Looking forward to getting to know you.

B.

OK, well, welcome and all that, and here's my twopennyworth....

First, wow, you're clearly not one to shirk a challenge with a title like that! Talk about jumping in at the deep end - an end overcrowded with millions of other bathers who got there before you. But that's not a criticism - it's a perfectly valid, if ambitious, subject for a poem.

Given that the idea is good, what about the execution of it? Well, I liked a couple of lines - the epigrammatic sonics, for example, of No Knowledge (life), without College is good, even if the sentiment behind the line is a trifle vacuous. And I quite like the way the "good question" theme indicates self-doubt.

Overall, though, the piece - for me, anyway - provides no new insight, no new slant, nothing interesting to latch on to. Perhaps part of the problem is that either you're very new to the written word, or English isn't your first language, because it's so riddled with unconventional (not in a good way) usage, it's hard to make sense of it.

Cheers
peter

Hi,
I have to say I struggle with this one. I would assume that it is trying to explore the question than answer it. But not sure it achieves that. Too complicated. Feels like an ad hoc stream of very bite size thoughts that do not lead one through any journey to a conclusion.

But as they have already said, its a hard subject to crack. So keep trying.

S

I've read this several times. I was working on a piece concerning the same question but from the perspective of a job interview. The "who is Richard Sanders" question aimed at me. Nothing ready for posting yet though.

But from that effort I was particularly triggered by the title of your piece.
I think I'm with onlyifonly on this one though. It does not fully explore the question, it doesn't provide a definitive anwser, it's just somewhere in between. Unfinished perhaps. But you seem to be off to a decent start though.

A tough subject no doubt. But perhaps worth some more though and pehaps some more lines.
I do find the wide spacing of the lines irks me.

Hope it helps,

Kindest,
Richard