Poetry Forum

Long ago travelled kings
Opened their minds to prophecies
Visiting from afar they brought gifts of gold, fracincense and myrrh
Eastern star guiding them lighting the way

Company of heavenly host
Allelujah! Angels appeared to shepherds, telling Savior born
Manger for bed wrapped in cloths in town of David
Evangelically proclaimed Christ the Lord

December 25th designated day
on which we recollect
Why/way Christ entered our world
Nativity only part of His story

A new testament
Tells of new covenant between God and His people

Christ’s coming to Earth
Hailed as new born king, holy
Risen Lord, righteous redeemer,
Intercedes for us as
Spiritual Saviour to save sinners souls
Time for Truth, Trust, Trinity
Man’s belief in God of Love,
As Father, Son and Holy Spirit
Shall be saved

Hey Anaisnais
This is ambitious. You certainly put (your?) beliefs out there.

I have a couple of suggestions:
The first is a nit-pick. Try playing with the text editor and make the first letter of each line BOLD. I found the repeated first letter gets in the way of a simple read.
The second is a plea to use language that is more natural and doesn't read as though you are regurgitating a theological thesis on the opening chapters of Matthew.
A third is to scan through and check for unnecessary capitalisation, eg.

...gifts of Gold, Fracincense and Myrrh

As a refugee from religion, this kind of stuff does little for me personally. But on the positive side, acrostics are fun to play with and you have made a bold attempt.

Thanks for your thoughts kozmikdave, and hi! This was an attempt over Christmas to kickstart the muse into working again really. I found that many people didn't seem to understand Acrostics and so went through with the extra capitalization to sort that one out - but is easy one to resolve with the text editor as you say... I'll definitely go through the Caps, and with regards to your other point I wonder if it was my attempt to try to be clever with added alliteration that has perhaps taken it too far? (Oh yes, and just for the record not to offend anyone I don't write on religion often as I know it is personal choice... so please don't go running in the opposite direction - we go where the muse takes us...) Hope to see you around? Kindest thoughts.

Mmm. Acrostics are fun. I think in some places the demands of the form result in a certain mangling of the language, but you've risen to the challenge pretty well.

Cheers

David

Thanks for your point of view David, appreciate your stopping by toleave a few thoughts... Smiles.