Poetry Forum

Six piece jigsaw
for age forty plus,
corner-free and edgeless,
yet square as its box.

Slide its bits
on carpet or desk,
but please ... not that
self-assembly coffee table.

- Neil

Hi Neil
Enjoyed this...nice sound on first stanza and nice emphasis on last line. Enjoyable poem which might be read in many ways.
I read it as partly being about the irritations of middle age. But it is no doubt open to many such interpretations.
Fun.
Best wishes,
Ant

Hi Neil, I like poems that make you think and give room for interpretation. And the content of which you can maybe relate to your own experience.

I could complete a 6 piece jigsaw but probably not without my glasses ! And I know what you mean about that self-assembly coffee table.

40+, are you speaking from experience Neil ?

Deryn 50+

Much enjoyed.
brought a smile of recognition to my face.
thanks for sharing.

I like s1 a lot, neil. Not sure s2 lives up to its billing, though - seems to end with a bit of a whimper, where I was hoping for a bang. So to speak.

cheers
peter

Thanks, all.

Like most of my 'get back into writing' efforts, this was off-cuff quick&dirty soul-spew.

Your comments are unworthy, but much appreciated.

@ Ant: 'many ways' will forever be my curse; when it's written it has only one meaning - perhaps I don't take time to understand my reader. So ... Thank you .

@ Deryn: yes, 41 and contemplating the best MLC for me and family

@ Richard: Thanks for taking the time. I've read your stuff too: I'm not sure we write from the same place, but I'm glad to share comments any time.

@ Peter: Whether I agree or not, it's always good to get your crit. In this case, I do: S1 is better than S2. I'm a lazy writer; thanks for not being a lazy reader.

This isn't worth rewriting, but I hope that it gets me back into writing and sharing on this forum.

Kindest,

- Neil

Like other posts here - I too love the idea of a poem which makes you think and can be interpreted in number of ways.

Look forward to reading more.

NP

Thanks, NP.

If you like obscure and open to multiple interpretations, my back-catalogue is full of such ramblings.

Kindest,

- Neil

Hey Neil, I kinda like it as it is, although I agree with Peter that the ending is a bit of a let down. Or, to adopt your image, you've finished with too much sky.

I definitely liked it, though. You've got a quirky voice of your own that's very attractive, and it's good to read it again.

Cheers

David

Thanks, David.

Quirky suits me just fine, old bean.

The ending's certainly quirky, but seems to be hitting single-fives .

Never mind, it's always good to get crit from the playground monitors.

Warmest,

- Neil