I am Not

[LunarTree]

I am not
but yet I am
a plain and simple humble man
No instructions included
no batteries required
just add a kiss
and the cogs will twist

As you have my heart
you are my soul
without that kiss
without that smile
I am just a plain and simple child

[Ros]

Hi Tom,

How about a few comments on other people's poems?

Ros

[Macavity]

I am
a plain and simple humble man

confused me because of

I am just a plain and simple child

I think there are two poems here ie S1 or S2 could work without each other.

S1 - become a man with a kiss theme - I preferred. Quite liked the coupling of kiss/twist and the image conveyed the simple man theme.

mac

may interest you:

I Am!
By John Clare

I am—yet what I am none cares or knows;
My friends forsake me like a memory lost:
I am the self-consumer of my woes—
They rise and vanish in oblivious host,
Like shadows in love’s frenzied stifled throes
And yet I am, and live—like vapours tossed

Into the nothingness of scorn and noise,
Into the living sea of waking dreams,
Where there is neither sense of life or joys,
But the vast shipwreck of my life’s esteems;
Even the dearest that I loved the best
Are strange—nay, rather, stranger than the rest.

I long for scenes where man hath never trod
A place where woman never smiled or wept
There to abide with my Creator, God,
And sleep as I in childhood sweetly slept,
Untroubling and untroubled where I lie
The grass below—above the vaulted sky.

[RichardSanders]

I'm afraid I don't like this very much.

"I am not
but yet I am"
for me this is just a little to close to Shakespeare to be comfortably original.

"As you have my heart
you are my soul"
Also a bit stale to my taste but don't be discouraged; mine, is just one opinion.

Kindest,
Richard.

[Arian]

I am
a plain and simple humble man

confused me because of

I am just a plain and simple child

I think the first is meant literally, the second figuratively, which is, I guess, a legitimate - if not especially fresh - construction.
My difficulty is more along the lines of Richard's - it just seems all a bit done, in terms of both concept and expression. I like the no batteries required bit, though.

Cheers
peter