Joe

New to poetry? Unsure about the quality of your work? Then why not post here to receive some gentle feedback.
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Suzanne
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 1:05 pm

Joe

His lips don't curl when I drop that name
as if it's just another pair of white socks
among many in my drawer.

But it's not a secret, besides,
every woman knows some days
we'd trade just about anything
to wear our favorite pair of socks.





.
Last edited by Suzanne on Mon Apr 01, 2024 9:12 am, edited 3 times in total.
KevJ
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 5:32 pm

A curious little work this one Suzanne. Not sure I understand the relevance of the title. A John Doe is an anonymous dead body I think. Not sure how this relates to socks. :wink:
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
Suzanne
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 7:05 pm

LOL! I crack myself up. It was titled Joe. What a mistype! Who know what I was thinking. Oooh, funny.
My foolishness provides hours of entertainment. Thanks Kev.

Classically me. Suzanne
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 7:11 pm

Hi Suzanne
I confess I share some of Kev's confusion on this. I'm assuming it's an allegory of some kind, a conceit, but it's pretty heavily disguised.

Not that that's a problem in itself. Inaccessibility doesn't necessarily wreck a poem. If it did, TS Eliot would have ended up working in a factory. But I'm not sure this piece engages on any other level, either. It does seem (extremely unusually for you) curiously lacking in poetic device or poetic warmth of any other kind. Hard to engage with it, I thought, though I read it a dozen times or more.

Still, it's always nice to engage with work from you. More will come soon, I hope.

Cheers
peter
Suzanne
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:47 pm

Lol. Oh, a holiday can screw everything up. I got rust on my rusted rust.
Well, it is good for a laugh. Thanks Peter. Lol. Oh who can explain it? Not I.
X Suzanne
Suzanne
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Fri Aug 02, 2013 8:50 pm

Oh yeah, a sonnet. That is what I should be doing. Ok.
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Dalena
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Sat Aug 03, 2013 6:56 am

I'm noting the "as if" I think it's crucial to allowing the remainder of the lines to do what you intend which has nothing to do with socks.
It seems more like an underlying desire captured in the two short verses and that's the poetry you have aimed this at.

Dalena
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Suzanne
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Sat Aug 03, 2013 8:31 am

Underlying desire masked in a common household conceit? Me?
Would I do that? It could just be about socks. Wink.

Nice to see you, Dalena, you are clever and correct about the "as if".
Thanks for this reply.

Warmly,
Suzanne
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Sat Aug 03, 2013 3:18 pm

Hi Dalena,
What?!??? A strong desire woven into my white cotton? Nothing to do with socks?

Nice to see you around. And satisfying to see it was understood by someone. Yep.
Perhaps it is just something us females understand?

The anticipation of a pleasant hug from favorite socks. It can get a girl out of bed in the morning. Lol.

Warmly,
Suzanne
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Sat Aug 03, 2013 4:27 pm

Hail Suzanne,

a blend of sock enthusiasm and sexuality. :D
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
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Sun Aug 04, 2013 11:06 am

Antcliff wrote:Hail Suzanne,

a blend of sock enthusiasm and sexuality. :D
Ah I should have paid more attention. Not about socks at all. Or are socks a bit of a fetish in your house Suzanne. :wink:
I am not a number ... I am a FREE man!
Suzanne
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Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:09 pm

Thanks Seth for the Hail. And thank you kevlar for popping back over. Suzanne
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Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:18 pm

Just pondering what the "it" could be. Thought I knew.

I thought there was a kind of sexual subtext to this..but I am just not sure now.

Hmm.
We fray into the future, rarely wrought
Save in the tapestries of afterthought.
Richard Wilbur
Suzanne
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Sun Aug 04, 2013 8:25 pm

It's in the title.
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Sun Aug 04, 2013 9:10 pm

His lips don't curl when i try to drop it
as if it's just another pair of white socks
among many in my drawer.

But it's not a secret, besides,
every woman knows some days
we'd trade just about anything
to wear our favorite pair of socks
Hello Suzanne, this poem (for me) was lost to abstraction, if that was your intention then it worked, if not it needs revision for clarity, also, there is nothing to engage the senses.

seeya...D
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Jackie
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Wed Aug 07, 2013 2:59 am

Hi Suzanne--

Joe surprised you, did he? You thought his lips would curl when he saw you were (still) doing it. And you tried not to let him see. But heck, a) It's not a secret to him and b) everybody knows some days we'd even trade a lip curl for a chance to do it. Makes you shiver to think of all the things it could be especially since where I live, socks is slang for condoms. . .

How about a full stop, a semi-colon, and/or a line break after but it's not a secret and before besides?

Very much enjoyed this!

Jackie
Suzanne
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Wed Aug 07, 2013 7:22 am

Jackie! LOL!

Ha! What an interpretation! Very pleasant twist you saw, Jackie.
Thank you. Poetry is so alive. Gosh. So many different ways to understand the words.

Warmly,
Suzanne
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Jackie
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Wed Aug 07, 2013 12:54 pm

I'm glad you see it that way. I love the way teachers are taught that reading comprehension is making meaning--from the reader's own past experience, and so on. Nonetheless, we continue to give reading comprehension tests in schools that provide no leeway at all for individual responses.

But I'd still like to know how you meant it to be interpreted! You say the clue is in the title--who's Joe?

Jackie
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Jackie
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Wed Aug 07, 2013 8:50 pm

drop it
as in name dropping? You've got me befuddled.

Jackie
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Fri Aug 09, 2013 5:52 am

every woman knows
as opposed to
every man knows
The gender divide :)
Suzanne
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Fri Aug 09, 2013 8:43 pm

Yes jackie name dropping. Whew, lol.

Yes mac the gender gap.
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