Poetry Forum

Darling, can you forgive
the "great white hunter"
for hunting?

yes, yes, for doing
what came naturally
to game in his sights

and for firing up
yes firing up
that "green eyed monster"

that welding torch
that unzipped
the seam of us.

Presumably referring to jealously which has caused a rift between you and someone else? Hence the darling.

I enjoyed the last stanza

" The welding torch
which unzipped
the seam of us "

The Great white hunter confuses me a little, I am unsure this is because I am fairly new. Or that the abstract has passed me by but is this referring to yourself?

I can't decide if you have actually committed anything worth firing up this green eyed monster, or you are simply referring to it easily being ignited?

Perhaps I have missed everything. Maybe you could enlighten me?

Either way it had a certain poignancy which I enjoyed. So thank you.

Tom

A clever play on infidelity and its consequences.

Love the final metaphor for opening flies.....very nice.

Like your use of repetition 'yes yes' to bring out the dialogue and the stereotypical invocations of 'nature' that are branded around as excuses in such occasions.

I fact, I just like it all.

Luke

I can see now I believe a few things I missed. Thanks to the previous post 1lankest.
It has helped my understanding.

Regards
Tom

David, I enjoy the simplicity of this message but I'm having trouble leaping from one metaphor to the other—how a hunter might come by a welding torch.

I am interested in your inverted commas in stanza 1. Is there a connotation that "great white hunter" brings to the poem, that just "hunter" wouldn't bring?

You're very productive and always remind me I have to get writing!

Jackie

Tom, thank you for reading this, and for your comments...David

Luke, likewise...Always a pleasure....David

Jackie I wanted "great white hunter" for the full effect of the cliched image. The inverted comma's used there are to acknowledge the fact that I know it's a cliche ..seeya.....David

Like Jackie I am amazed at yr productivity and also variety of voices. A very targeted piece and succinct in getting the point over. I hadn't taken ths quoted phrase as cliched, I had read it as an egoistical boast disguised as an excuse, I cd see him doing that annoying quotes gesture people make with their hands in the air as he was saying it; akind of mirror image to Dick Emery's thing yrs back as if he was saying ' ooh , I am AWWWFul, But you can't help liking me..' There's a lot in this poem and so there are many interpretations.
Regards, C.

C, thank you for your views, much appreciated. I am happy you got something from the poem.... you brought a smile to my face thinking of our "hunter" putting those commas into the air with his fingers.....D