The one before the one

[littlemousie]

Selfish me
Young, free
Silly you
Old, new

Summer song
Promise of love
A continent long
Concrete wall

Broadhead through
The fall for someone true
Along came adieu
My truly lover I'm holding to

[xanadu]

Nice and simple. Don't follow the "Broadhead" line though. Enjoyed.

[Jackie]

Hi Littlemousie,

I liked the way the first two stanzas dealt with this old story—flip, both in attitude and scattered phrases. You might end it there and let us predict the outcome. In the third stanza "someone true" and "adieu" feel tired, and "truly friend" could use fixing.

Thanks for posting,

Jackie